RECAP: 5 Things That Happened On Episode 3 Of ‘Real Housewives Of Melbourne’
Hello, my darlings! Who is ready to shine it TF up? Real Housewives of Melbourne is back for another week and we’re going on a holiday!
I don’t mean we, as in you and I, no of course we’re not, tbh we’re lucky if we can be permitted to travel to see our mum or dad. But we can vacation vicariously through our favourite rich TV friends, as they migrate to tropical Far North Queensland for Jackie’s babymoon.
I’m happy for them.
Not really!
However, I’m getting ahead of myself. Before the ladies touched down in Cairns other things probably happened, so let’s go through the highlights!
Here’s what went down in Episode 3 of The Real Housewives of Melbourne:
1. Gamble and Anjali meet up to hash out their differences while eating overpriced eggs benny.
Last we saw Gamble, she was screaming across Kyla’s champagne masterclass calling Anjali a “liar”, but now they’re meeting at local brunch spot Top Paddock to try to get their friendship back on track. Gamble said she was confused that Anjali told the women that Gamble had encouraged her to “gang up” against Kyla. “It was something that was said after we did the podcast,” Anjali said. “It was such a tiny moment.” Anjali tries to play down any drama, as she says she doesn’t want to fight.
“I fight with people for a living, so unless you’re paying me, I don’t want to fight with you,” Anjali says. At this stage, I started to wonder if Anjali was some type of underground cage fighter, before she clarified she meant debating people for work. Boring!
In her confessional, Gamble got confused over whether Kyla is known as The Grape Dame — instead of The Champagne Dame — and honestly her suggestion is much better.
Gamble tells Anjali about preparing for her late father’s exhibition, and she gets super emotional. It bonds them, and it looks like their feud is at the very least at a ceasefire for now. Ah family trauma, it unites us all.
2. Jackie and Ben find out their twins are healthy.
Jackie and Ben attend an IVF scan. She is nervous because the last time she went for a second scan, the baby’s heartbeat had gone — so she is feeling triggered that her twins could suffer the same fate. “It was one of the shittest, saddest feelings I have ever felt,” Jackie said before the scan.
Thankfully, Jackie has two healthy babies in her! “Finally my prayers have been answered, my dreams are coming true — I’m becoming a mother,” Jackie said in her confessional. Their heartbeats are thumping so fast and loud that Ben wants to make an EDM track out of it.
A Silverchair ultrasound-dance pivot? I’m about it!
Jackie meets up with Janet to show her the pictures of the two sonograms to reveal she’s having twins. “I cannot believe it,” Janet says stunned, as she starts to cry. “You know what 2021, that is the news of the year!” Janet said in a confessional afterwards.
3. Janet, Cherry, and Kyla go vintage shopping.
The three women decide to go vintage shopping to prepare for Anjali’s “Palm Beach” pool party, as Cherry describes it. I think it’s supposed to be Palm Springs, but go off Cherry. Ready to see the Northern Beaches aesthetic of exclusively cream linen shirts and Lululemon activewear finally represented.
When the idea of vintage shopping was mentioned, I hoped they might just drop into their local Salvos but alas, this designer vintage shop’s contents are probably worth more than my entire extended family.
Kyla is pumped! “Ugh vintage shopping, poke me in the eye with a fork,” she moans.
Cherry is freaked out at the thought of buying vintage shoes, as she has never worn a second-hand shoe before. Must be nice!
Kyla and Janet make jibes at each other throughout the day. “Janet you’re playing it a bit too safe, you need to go more pornstar,” Kyla says. “I’ll leave that up to you,” Janet replies.
Kyla calls Janet’s Chanel outfit a “tracksuit”. She may as well just spat in her eye before roundhouse-kicking her into a dumpster.
Meanwhile, Simone is hosting a Luxe For Less makeup workshop, which is an initiative to help disadvantaged women return to the workforce. I have no silly little jokes! It’s nice!
4. Kyla invites Kyri to do an exit interview.
OK, technically this was a date but it didn’t look or sound like a date. Instead, it felt more like Kyla had scheduled a relationship exit interview with her ex-fiancé and business partner. At dinner, Kyri said, “A wise man once said a relationship is not about love, it’s about management, it’s a lot of management — and we’ve mismanaged our relationship along the way.”
Who says romance is dead?? It was Kyri. Kyri said romance was dead.
They have one of the most tedious conversations of all time, before Kyla says, “You know, I only want what’s best for the business,” before eventually adding after a painful few seconds, “and I want what’s best for us.”
“We still haven’t resolved the issues that started the cracks,” Kyla says in confession, before saying that their ‘date night’ was just highlighting “there’s still some work to do”. It sounds like Kyri is still in his probation period and probably won’t get a job offer to stay on… as Kyla’s boyfriend.
Kyri said he would contemplate leaving the business in order to avoid divorce. Kyla does not agree. “I would not leave the business to save the relationship,” she admitted in her confessional.
That’s probably not something you should say out loud, hun.
5. Anjali hosted a pool party.
To celebrate her new South Yarra apartment, Anjali organises a Malibu-themed pool party up on one of the top floors. Kyla reveals Kyri isn’t coming, I assume he didn’t get his leave request approved for the day.
Once again, the dress code is extremely loose.
??????
Anjali reminds us that she’s very important, as she isn’t nervous about seeing Gamble again because she’s interviewed world leaders and terrorist organisers before. She then gives a speech about Liberace.
Yeah… I don’t know what’s happening.
As Anjali tells a story about her child being born in Hong Kong, Cherry tries to correct her grammar and she ain’t having it. “If you’re going to come at me on grammar, make sure you’re right!” she snaps, which I think is just the beginning of Anjali and Cherry clashing.
Jackie vibes that Simone is not doing well, and the angels don’t lie! Simone gets teary speaking to Jackie and Janet about being still hung up on her ex. Somehow Anjali and Gamble end up in a singing competition, as it’s decided obviously there can only be one talented singer in the friend group.
By the end of the sing-off, it’s decided there are no talented singers in the friend group.
After being on her best behaviour for most of the episode, Kyla scolds a waiter when he’s pouring champagne, telling him that he has to have the label facing up “out of respect for the winemaker”. It’s not great!
A box attached to balloons arrived to reveal Jackie’s sonogram images, confirming she and Ben are expecting twins. In celebration, Jackie invites everyone to Tropical Far North Queensland for her babymoon.
Then Simone and Gamble compete in some swan racing (??), and afterwards, Gamble stays in the pool having a main character moment, as she prepares her audition for the H20: Just Add Water reboot.
The episode ends with the women arriving in Cairns and sharing a welcome drink. Anjali is speaking French because she thinks they’re in Cannes. We conclude before any action kicks off but next week’s episode promises drama between Simone and Cherry, along with Kyla and Janet facing off once again, and the women screaming at the mere existence of cane toads.
Meanwhile, Gamble is probably still in Anjali’s pool.
I hope she’s happy there! You’re doing amazing, sweetie.
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The Real Housewives of Melbourne is available to watch on Foxtel and Binge.