sex and the city mr. big worst moments

12 Times Mr. Big Was An Awful Person On ‘Sex And The City’

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Sex and the City’s return to TV in reboot And Just Like That has come with more than a few bombshells.

Carrie has swapped her column for a podcast, Miranda has become a low-key Karen, Charlotte has err…well, not changed at all, Samantha has left the friendship group to move to London, and…

(SPOILER ALERT!)

…Mr. Big died after suffering a heart attack.

Big’s death was obviously terribly sad, as was his funeral. His death will hit Carrie hard as she struggles to come to terms with life without her husband throughout the upcoming And Just Like That episodes.

And while we’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, it would be remiss of us to paint Big like he was some saintly character. Susan Sharon said it best (albeit poorly timed) during Carrie’s eulogy about Big, as she muttered to herself, “Am I the only one who remembers what a prick he was to her?”

Susan Sharon is half correct. Yep, he was a prick but no, Susan, you are not the only one who recalls that Big was terrible to Carrie (not to mention his ex-wife, Natasha) for most of the series and half of the films. In fact, some fans reckon he had it coming.

This is not to say that Big deserved to die, but to find some solace in recognising that while he was alive, Big was a rather shitty person. So in an effort to mend our broken hearts, let us remember all the times Big was terrible.

12 times Mr. Big was an awful person on Sex and the City:

1. He refused to introduce Carrie to his mother.

When Carrie and Big first dated in Season 1, they broke up at the end of the season after Carrie realised what a commitment-phobe he truly was. The moment that triggered this epiphany was when she found out that Big attended church with his mother every Sunday and when she tried to invite herself, he told her she wasn’t welcome. Then, because Carrie is pure chaos, she went along anyway and was later confronted with the knowledge that despite dating Big for months, he had never mentioned her to his own mum.

2. He bought Carrie a super ugly handbag.

Despite breaking up with Big for a very good reason, Carrie got back together with him in Season 2 for their longest dating stint until they finally reunite at the end of Season 6. And let me tell you: their relationship was far from perfect. First of all, Big gave Carrie a really ugly bag. To be specific, it was a crystallised bird clutch, the type that insufferable Upper East Side housewives would carry.

This gesture alone is not enough to put Big in the terrible man column (or is it?), but what it showed was that Big either had no clue who Carrie was, or more likely, he wanted her to be someone else. When she received the gift, Carrie didn’t know what to say so all she could muster was “I love you.” Big did not reciprocate her feelings until he saw her flirting with another man, which totally tracks with this character.

3. He told Carrie that she was “embarrassing” him at a party.

After Big had blanked Carrie’s whole ‘I love you’ declaration, they attended a pretentious party together and Carrie was in a mood — which tbh, very fair! She was hanging with a friend bartending the event, when the party host caught her checking out his naval tattoo and then told Big that Carrie was going down on him. Big confronted Carrie and instead of hearing her side, he told her “Whatever you were doing, please stop. You’re embarrassing me.” How dare! Huge yikes.

The only other time that I wanted to throw something at my TV during this show was when Big took a phone call while Carrie was reading a  poem at her friend’s wedding. How Carrie didn’t delete his number there and then is one of life’s greatest mysteries.

4. He acted super weird about Carrie leaving any of her stuff at his place.

Even though this man was pushing 50, he acted like a 20-year-old fuckboi when it came to Carrie trying to get closer to him. They had been dating seriously for a while in Season 2 and she simply wanted to leave some items of clothing at his apartment, as it was more practical than carrying her stuff around.

Eventually, Carrie started leaving items at his place and of course, Big freaked out. He returned all her things immediately and Carrie went on to accept that she couldn’t leave any of her belongings at Big’s place because umm, she found a photo of them together in his drawer. Women truly have been taught to praise men for doing the bare minimum, huh.

5. He decided to move to Paris without telling his girlfriend Carrie.

If you thought Big couldn’t get any worse, think again. Carrie broke up with Big once more in Season 2 when she found out that he could be moving to Paris for work, and he hadn’t thought to discuss it with her. The worst moment came when Carrie suggested that she could move with him, to which he replied “But you’d be moving to Paris for yourself, right? I mean, don’t move for me.”

THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN.

6. He got engaged to another woman after telling Carrie he would never get married again.

This is what every woman dreads: their ex breaking up with them for one reason, which they then completely contradict in their next relationship. Big was deathly afraid of commitment when he was with Carrie, and he had told her that he would not get married again.

However, after moving to Paris for work, Big met Natasha and ended up returning to New York as an engaged man. Carrie found this out over lunch with Big and was left rattled. “How can you be engaged? You have a problem with commitment, remember? In fact, you told me you never wanted to get married again, ever,” she told him. “Things change,” he replied. Yuck!

7. He cheated on his wife Natasha with Carrie.

In a move that would become part of Big’s pattern, he only wanted Carrie when she was happily dating someone else — in this case, it was Aidan. Big himself happened to be recently married to Natasha, but that didn’t stop him from being creepy at Aidan’s furniture show by telling Carrie he’s “getting out” of his marriage. He later showed up at a hotel Carrie was staying at and slept with her. Of course, Carrie was at fault here too, but Carrie wasn’t married and she had only been dating Aidan for a short time.

The cherry on top of all of it was Big telling Carrie that he couldn’t divorce Natasha because it would cost him too much.

8. He showed up at Aidan’s country home to bitch to Carrie about being dumped.

Can you imagine showing up to your ex’s new partner’s home, when you were the person who broke them up? Men are wild! Big was left heartbroken when an actress he was dating dumped him, so he invited himself over to Aidan’s country cabin so that he could talk to Carrie. For what it’s worth, Carrie should have absolutely said no, as Aidan was clearly still struggling to accept Carrie’s friendship with Big.

Big forcing himself on the couple demonstrated how self-involved he was: he wasn’t thinking about how uncomfortable Carrie and Aidan would be in that situation, he was only thinking about himself.

9. He got jealous and clingy when other men showed interest in Carrie.

Following on from point seven, Big had a tendency to only want Carrie when other men show her attention. The worst example of this was when Carrie was starting to date jazz musician Ray, and despite her and Big deciding to only be friends, he acted like the biggest cock-blocker. Big invited himself to share a taxi with them, before getting out at Carrie’s apartment — which looked super suss.

It got so bad that on a night out, Samantha had to speak to him privately, telling him “If you’re just friends, what exactly do you think you’re doing? Because that girl might come off like she’s all strong and over it, but she’s fragile, and she’s my best friend. So I suggest you back off.” Oop!

10. He only realised how terrible he was to Carrie by reading her book.

As Carrie journeys to San Francisco for her book tour, she is visited by Big in the middle of a reading. Carrie had planned to hook up with Big during her visit, as she was desperate for some (any??) intimacy, but Big couldn’t stop talking about Carrie’s book and how he never realised how much he hurt her until he read her perspective on the page.

I mean, should it have to take a woman literally spelling it out for a man to do some much-needed self-reflection?? Big also initially refused to have sex with Carrie because he didn’t want to end up hurting her again — like, he wasn’t in control of his own actions.

11. He took Carrie for granted when she stayed with him during his heart operation.

Before Aleksandr Petrovsky entered the picture in Season 6, Big and Carrie could have already been endgame. They shared a real moment when Carrie was taking care of Big after he had heart surgery, and Big opened up for the first time ever. “You’re an angel, you know that?” he began. “I’m serious. What are we doing? I’m talking about us. Life’s too short.” This could have been the start of Carrie and Big dating again, but by the next morning, Big has reverted back to being his old unfeeling self.

It wasn’t until Carrie was moving to Paris with Petrovsky that Big realised that she was The One. Sounds about right!

12. He decided not to show up on his wedding day.

Now let’s move on to the movies. Big was on his best behaviour in the sequel, as all he wanted to do was stay in with Carrie and watch TV. Can relate! But he simply cannot be forgiven for not showing up to his wedding in the first film. Some fans have laid the blame on Carrie: after all she did make the wedding a massive event despite Big hoping for a smaller affair. I mean, sure, but Big had plenty of time to talk to Carrie about all that, and leaving Carrie at the altar should never have been an option.

It doesn’t matter that Miranda warned him that getting married would ruin their relationship. You know what else ruins a relationship? Ditching your fiancé on your wedding day.

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I hate to be morbid, but Carrie might be better off without him!