2000 olympics sydney ceremony nikki webster

17 Jun 2019

A Look Back At The Absolute Madness That Was The 2000 Sydney Olympics

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There has never been a more accurate exhibition of Australian culture than the 2000 Olympics held in Sydney. Don’t fight me on this.

I’m not talking about the athletes competing on the world stage, but rather our nation’s efforts to ‘wow’ our international counterparts at the opening and closing ceremonies.

It was here that we met fresh-faced 13-year-old Nikki Webster for the first time; a tiny ginger-haired girl dressed in a pink floral-printed dress with the voice of an angel.

Aside from Nikki, looking back, both ceremonies were truly bonkers. It was peak ‘Straya. Unapologetic. A bit cringe. But something that makes us bloody proud.

Let’s look back at the 2000 Olympics opening and closing ceremonies:

#1. It all started with a bang!

Did Nikki Webster make that sign?!

#2. Human Nature performed the national anthem

The Aussie boy band can harmonise with the best of them.

#3. Our girl Nikki Webster arrived and then pretended to put on sunscreen

It would have been easier just to put it on, Nikki.

Me pretending to hold my shit together after my third mental breakdown since 11am.

#4. Then Nikki collapsed and was left lying in the centre of the stadium as onlookers watched on

Is she dead?

Did she faint? Was it the harsh lighting?! Someone call 000!

#5. Oh wait, she’s dreaming! Or is this a horrifying nightmare?!

Watch out for the monster jellyfish! They’re coming for you! They’re coming for ALL OF US.

#6. Well, isn’t this terrifying

Make no mistake, this ceremony was not for children.

#7. Okay, now there are swimmers amongst all the aquatic creatures

This is my reaction to this whole shitshow in one single GIF.

#8. The song Nikki performed is a real trip

I don’t know why this wasn’t a B-side to ‘Strawberry Kisses’.

#9. Adam Garcia and Tap Dogs performed

Tap dancing men used to be incredibly hot and we should bring it back. My thirst has not been quenched.

#10. The athletes’ uniforms were err…interesting

I don’t know who thought this colour palette worked but they should have gone to Specsavers.

#11. Australia’s dad and mum (John Farnham and Olivia Newton-John) performed a duet

Now, these are some powerhouse voices. I demand a reunion.

#12. Tina Arena then performed some song called ‘The Flame’

She was truly feeling her oats but somehow she didn’t work the lyrics “I’m in (Olympic) chains,” into the song. Rude.

#13. Aussie hero Cathy Freeman ignited the Olympic flame

Arguably one of the most iconic moments in Australian sporting history. Chills.

#14. At the closing ceremony, Midnight Oil rocked the stadium

They performed ‘Bed Are Burning’ in tracksuits emblazoned with the word ‘sorry’.

#15. Savage Garden performed ‘Affirmation’

I’m still waiting for this iconic duo to record a follow-up album.

#16. Kylie Minogue came in riding a big-as-shit thong

The lifesavers carrying her were actually Sydney Swans players and this is still the most Australian thing to ever happen.

Via Sarah Reed.

#17. A bunch of random celebs travelled around on floats

Elle Macpherson stood on top of a giant camera (subtlety is not our country’s strong suit) and she even had a runway to walk up and down as she cruised around the arena. Elle, you’re too good for this.

10/1/2000 — Greatest Olympic Closing Ceremony ever. Elle Macpherson, Paul Hogan, Greg Norman and Bananas in Pajamas. pic.twitter.com/3Y47XZVxmG

— Nick Zaccardi (@nzaccardi) October 1, 2014

Paul Hogan was carried around on err…something Crocodile Dundee-themed? Greg Norman crawled out of a giant shark and played golf. I thought this was a hallucination but it actually happened at the 2000 Olympics.

The Bananas in Pyjamas had their own float too. It’s called culture, sweetie.