An Official Ranking Of Every Season Of ‘The Bachelor’ So Far
The new season of The Bachelor Australia is now less than two weeks away, and you can bet we’re all getting pretty bloody excited.
We’re now on Season 7 of the show, and looking back there have been some pretty decent love stories produced along the way (minus, ahem, last year).
Here at Punkee we’re predicting we’ll all get our happy ending with Matt Agnew (get your minds out of the gutter, you pervs!), and the cursed name ‘Honey Badger’ will be all but forgotten by the time Season 7 wraps up.
Without further ado, we decided to look back at the previous seasons and rank them in order of least to most enjoyable, based on the casting, drama, love story and predictability.
Here’s Our Ranking Of Every Season Of The Bachelor Australia So Far:
6. Nick ‘Honey Badger’ Cummins
The ratings may have been huge, but fan satisfaction was down the drain with this season. It’s not even the fact Nick didn’t pick anyone in the end — it’s the hindsight of knowing he went along for the ride to waste all our time (yes OUR) and was just a completely uncomfortable horny douchebag throughout the season.
5. Sam Wood
Don’t get it twisted, Sam was the perfect Bachelor in many, many ways. Firstly, he was legit and ready to settle down. He always treated everyone with respect. And while we all shed a tear when he professed his love to Snezana and they went on to become a beautiful, blended family, his season didn’t exactly keep anyone on the edge of their seats with anticipation. I mean, he accidentally kissed Snez in front of people at a cocktail party!
We all knew from the start, it was just a waiting game to finally watch Sam and Snez ride off happily into the sunset or whatever.
Sam = number one Bachelor in my heart, but not number one season.
4. Blake Garvey
OK, yeah, Blake was the ultimate fuckboi and high-key sucked as the leading man. But man did his The Bachelor Australia season have some sweet spots. For example, it introduced us to Queen Laurina. Dirty street pie, anyone?
Then the whole fiasco after the finale was something never seen before on Australian TV. He PROPOSED. Then he just went AWOL on Sam Frost and then it turned out Blake was really in love with Louise, who forgave him and they started their relationship together. And all this put into effect Sam becoming our first ever Bachelorette! SO. MUCH. DRAMA.
And who could ever forget this iconic interview with The Project when all that shit went down.
3. Tim Robards
Tim was the OG Bachelor, and he was an excellent start to the series. The stakes were high, there were two clear front-runners so everyone was on the edge of their seat as to who he’d actually declare his love to, with Anna Heinrich being his lady of choice.
Season 1 also introduced us to Ali (last year’s Bachelorette, of course) who was so besotted by Tim, it was adorably awkward to watch.
True love prevailed, and Tim and Anna are now happily married and one of Australia’s hottest couples. No, seriously. Look at them.
Not a bad start for the first ever Aussie season.
2. Richie Strahan
OK, OK, just hear me out. Richie as a Bachelor was slightly painful to watch, sure. But the SEASON in general, my lord. From Keira, to the chocolate bath, to the national outrage at the final decision. It was jam-packed with MOMENTS.
It’s undeniable that it was one of the most entertaining The Bachelor Australia seasons to date.
Even Hamish Blake appeared as a guest on the show dressed up as… well, a giant baby.
And to think we wouldn’t have then had the whole Keira/Jarrod/Bachelor In Paradise saga if it wasn’t for this season. An icon was born.
1. Matty J
OK, Matty’s season may have been slightly less dramatic than many of the others. But who wasn’t rooting for our heartbroken boy to find true love in the end?
The season introduced us to some amazing characters like Tara (who can ever forget the sausage moment), the “putrid” dress, and then there was straight-shooter Flo who has become a Bachelor legend of all sorts.
There was also our first ever trio of Mean Girls on the show, before the ones that took the title in Honey Badger’s season.
But everything was wrapped up beautifully in the end when Matty declared his love for Laura (even though everyone, minus Laura, knew the moment was coming) and now the two are happily engaged with a baby girl.
I’m not crying, you are.