Tonight’s Truly Batshit Bachy Retold In Hilarious Tweets
Damn. That was quite the episode of The Bachelor. We FINALLY saw the walk out, which was followed QUICKLY by the walk back in. Ugh. They fooled us good.
On tonight’s instalment we saw the group heading away on a mini-vacay and two solo dates – one with Abbie and another with Helena – but all Matt could think about was, well, did Monique in fact call him a “dog c**t”? It’s honestly the greatest mystery of our time.
The entire Bachy mansion imploded when Matt started questioning the girls over what exactly Monique had said about him and people have lost their damn minds over the garbage fest.
Tonight’s bonkers episode of The Bachelor retold in funny AF tweets:
The ep kicked off with the girls heading off on trip before Abbie landed herself a solo date. The rest of the girls couldn’t be more thrilled.
Abbie gets the date.
The other girls on the inside: #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/l3NRKq6Biu— Zoe (@Lunaamikaelson) August 14, 2019
“If Matt wants to hook up with girls…”
Yeah what a dick hey. Not like it’s the whole fucking premise of the show or anything. #TheBachelorAU
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) August 14, 2019
When Monique gets a Ferrari but you get a blue pick up truck #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/l4JT8Sv5zw
— Aliza (@AlizanotEliza) August 14, 2019
Abbie and Matt’s date involved feet and fruit before things got even juicier when she told Matt that Monique had called him a “disrespectful pig” and a “dog c**t”.
where were you at the moment when a woman said the phrase "dog c**t" on #thebachelorau
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) August 14, 2019
Abbie dropping dog c***t on Aussie national television #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/p8F3atidR4
— Monique Myintoo (@aumonique_) August 14, 2019
Can’t believe Monique has to deal with 30-50 disrespectful pigs within like 3-5 minutes of entering the bachelor mansion #TheBachelorAU
— Bachelor of Hearts Podcast ? (@BOHpod) August 14, 2019
Maybe it was in front of us all along #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/DCtxSADHRf
— Tahlia Pritchard (@Tahls) August 14, 2019
As an Australian, it’s hard to decide whether calling Matt a “dog cunt” is mean-spirited or if it’s just flirting #TheBachelorAU
— Jarryd Prain (@PastPrainFor) August 14, 2019
Reeling from the news, Matt gathered the girls for a ‘truth circle’ before Chelsie won some special time with him.
Matt: I want to talk about lying
The girls in the ‘truth circle’:
#TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/N51h00JppB
— Madeline Muir (@madeline_muir) August 14, 2019
Matt peeling back Chelsie's layers. #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/pX47HHxCam
— Phillip Lee Curtis. (@PoshLopez) August 14, 2019
Matt chose Helena for a solo date and they impregnated an oyster.
IVF oyster/pearl babies, "is it in", Matt gifting a pearl necklace… is this show OK? #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/abh7fdf6w0
— Tahlia Pritchard (@Tahls) August 14, 2019
I had a really great date PECK ON THE CHEEK and I'm really glad you're here PECK ON THE CHEEK and will you accept this rose THE MOST RESERVED PECK ON THE CHEEK IN THE WHOLE SERIES #TheBachelorAU
— Tegan Higginbotham (@TeganMH) August 14, 2019
Imagine if Helena said “JUST KISS ME YA DOG CUNT”
?????
— mø (@M0SCHIM0) August 14, 2019
At the cocktail party shit hit the fan when Matt told Monique what Abbie had told him. He then quizzed the other women over it before storming off.
Raise your hand if you overheard Monique call Matt a “dog c***” #TheBachelor #TheBachelorAu pic.twitter.com/Do1LsXTtSf
— Ellie (@bachie_ell) August 14, 2019
roses are red
cakes can be bunt
did monique call the bachie
a dog c***? #thebachelorAU— ?let it bri let it bri? (@willsybee) August 14, 2019
Can't believe I accidentally flicked over to an episode of Murder She Wrote #TheBachelorAU
— anna spargo-ryan (@annaspargoryan) August 14, 2019
Me watching the final season of Game of Thrones #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/5JAWWLjAxr
— Jerome Doraisamy (@JeromeDoraisamy) August 14, 2019
When you drive all the way to maccas and the soft serve machine isn’t working. #TheBachelorAu pic.twitter.com/eIy0VEiMMV
— Georgia Kelleher (@GeorgiaKelleher) August 14, 2019
Tfw you're not angry, just disappointed. #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/k3l0FzrTtx
— Kara Schlegl (@karaschlegl) August 14, 2019
After all that, Monique received a rose at the ceremony. Unlike poor sweet Julia, who surely would never call Matt a “dog c**t.”
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the word dog c*** has now been said more times on this show than the word journey. #TheBachelorAU
— Lauren Edwards (@laurenvedwards) August 14, 2019
The biggest drama of the season on #TheBachelorAU is over the use of the c-word. Straya! pic.twitter.com/0GzvfCWn5C
— Shalailah Medhora (@shalailah) August 14, 2019
Australians don’t say ‘I love you’ they say ‘He’s a dog cunt’ and I think that’s really beautiful #TheBachelorAU
— ret (@Retta_Potterfan) August 14, 2019
Tonight’s episode of #thebachelorau has featured more dog anatomy than 5 years of vet school
— Dr Chris Brown (@drchrisbrown) August 14, 2019
Punkee recaps The Bachelor, episode 5: