muppets sesame street scary

It’s Time To Finally Talk About How Terrifying The Muppets Are Because I Am Not Okay

We here at Punkee don’t like to shy away from the tough topics and today I need to free myself from a heavy secret I’ve been carrying all my life. I hate the Muppets. I find them terrifying.

I am not talking about Elmo, Kermit or Miss Piggy, I suspect those loveable characters are merely a bait-and-switch, getting kids to tune in before the true nightmare begins.

This is NOT for children.

I’ve always found most childrens’ TV to be creepy, let’s be real some of the kids’ shows we watched growing up in the ’90s and ’00s were straight-up disturbing. But the Muppets on Sesame Street or The Muppet Show remain much loved characters and I do not understand why.

To me, they are nothing but creepy at best and horrifying at worst. There I said it.

Me watching any TV show or movie that features the Muppets:

I would argue that the majority of the Muppets are so disturbing that they’ve left me emotionally wounded and I may never fully recover.

Here are just a few of the Muppets that still scare the shit out of me:

The Martians

These two blobs are responsible for so many nightmares. I still hear the sounds ‘yip yip yip’ outside my window at night.

the muppets scary terrifying

Statler and Waldorf

I will never get over their appearance in The Muppet Christmas Carol. Don’t even get me started on that horror movie.

the muppets scary terrifying

Animal

Why does it have chains around its neck?? It should be in PRISON where it BELONGS.

the muppets scary terrifying

Pepé the King Prawn

This tiny creature has never stopped creeping me out. Why is a prawn wearing a turtleneck?! When will the madness end?!

the muppets scary terrifying

Sidenote: What even is this thing…?!?

Big Bird

A bird just shouldn’t be THIS BIG. Stop pecking at my window, devil bird!!

the muppets sesame street scary

Mr. Snuffleupagus

Don’t even get me started on Snuffy. I wonder when the screaming will stop.

the muppets scary terrifying

Bobo The Bear

There is something oddly disturbing about the sad-eyed bear. He’s seen some shit.

the muppets scary terrifying

Gonzo

Gonzo is no pretty picture himself.

the muppets scary terrifying

This person has a point and now I can’t unsee it.

Bert & Ernie

Okay, I can admit Ernie is a okay and he brings out Bert’s good side.

the muppets scary terrifying

But Bert on his own is a psychopath. He has killed and he will kill again.

the muppets scary terrifying

Fozzie Bear

Even the ‘cute’ muppets are also completely deranged and low-key murderous.

the muppets scary terrifying

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

Where are his eyes? Why have glasses when you don’t have eyeballs? I just can’t.

the muppets scary terrifying

Uncle Deadly

WHAT IS THAT?? Is it a dragon? A crocodile? This is just not appropriate for kids.

the muppets scary terrifying

Sweetums

I often see Sweetums standing in the corner of my room when I have sleep paralysis.

the muppets scary terrifying

Make no mistake, deep down all the Muppets want you dead.

the muppets scary terrifying

Never forget.