The Ultimate Survival Guide To This Year’s Scorpio Season

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You know it, I know it, your ex knows it… Scorpios are crazy.

We’re controlling, emotionally unstable and hella possessive. Throw in Scorpio season and some batshit cosmic energy and you’ve got yourself a canon that’s ready to blow!

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Unlucky for us, the hot-blooded stretch of Scorpio season has decided to coincide with Mercury Retrograde. Yep, you heard us. Literally everything you hate about MR, coupled with an emotional wreck of a Scorpio is a recipe for disaster. Honestly, it’s no surprise that mass murderer Charles Manson was a Scorpio.

Have no fear! We’ve put together a guide that will help you kick the butt of this year’s Scorpio season and, by the end of it, you will emerge as fierce and powerful as you really are.

1. Don’t make any rash decisions

Scorpios are NOTORIOUS for doing stupid ish’ when they’re sad. Whether it’s shaving their head after a breakup or quitting their job to start a froyo business, a Scorpio never fails to crumble when something they love falls apart.

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So therefore, our advice to Scorpios: don’t do anything in the heat of the moment. We know how easy it is to get emotionally invested, but just because something falls apart doesn’t mean you have to change yourself.

Sit back, take a deep breath, and know that it’s not your fault.

2. Use the extra energy to finish that project you’ve been putting off

If you’re a Scorpio, you’ve definitely got an unfinished project that you’ve been telling yourself you’d get to but haven’t. Well cometh this Scorpio season, you should all be feeling a rush of cosmic energy ready to channel. Whether you channel that sexually, that’s up to you. You’re a Scorpio after all. But reserve a little bit of that drive and tackle some of those stones that are ready to be turned.

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3. TREAT YO’SELF

As a Scorpio, you tend to feel everything more deeply and intensely than others. That’s why taking some ‘you time’ to just chill and relax your energy is going to be imperative for your state of mind. Don’t be afraid to take the day off work, sit at home and do the dishes if that’s what it takes to relax. If you constantly keep going and going and going, your mental state will fizzle and we don’t want that.

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4. Get kinkeh

It’s probably the one thing that we’re the most famous for. Scorpios are innate sexual beings that thrive off intimacy. Any sexual encounter that you have this season is going to be EXTRA intense, so make sure you try and experiment with new things cos you will peak like you never have before.

Also, just because your mind will be an emotional wreck doesn’t mean your physical self will be too? Amirite? Ladies?

5. Forgive the basic bitches and leave them behind

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, a Scorpio must use this time to rejuvenate and transform, leaving behind any fires that might still be burning. Sure, there have been times where you’ve felt like your personal or professional life has collapsed and wasn’t what you thought it would be.

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However, you must remember that with destruction comes rebirth, and the faster that you can fight those fires, the quicker you’ll be able to emerge out of this period better than ever.

6. Pay ATTENTION to the universe

During this time your connection to your cosmic energy is deeper than it has ever been before. Pay attention to what the universe is trying to tell you, as it’s doing everything it can to steer you on the right path. Listen to your dreams, look further into your relationships, and understand that help is there if you need it.

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Remember, as a Scorpio, you can sometimes overanalyse things. Don’t take things too seriously and know that while you’re going through this emotional rollercoaster, so is everyone else.