Punkee Recaps Vanderpump Rules: The Dog Days Aren’t Over
Another episode, another opening montage of the gang getting ready for another fun day of creating timeless cinema. In other words, it’s episode four and we’re heading to James and Ally’s for a pool party!! Woo!
Over at Sandoval and Ariana’s place, the latter is in her room with Katie faced with the age-old dilemma: one piece or bikini? We establish that it’s the morning after See You Next Tuesday (last episode), and in a very Hollywood twist of fate, it turns out that Ariana’s Lyft (Uber) driver was the same driver who dropped her and Sandoval off on that fateful evening last March. Ariana laughs in her interview, “I don’t think he has any clue about how many people out there probably wanna talk to him”.
The two recount the events from the night before, Ariana telling Katie she thought that Lala had some good points, but that she was annoyed about how defensive Schwartz became (while also attacking her character). “This guy that I haven’t spoken to in, you know, however many months, all of a sudden is some sort of authority on who I am and how I live my life and what I think and feel? Well, that’s interesting.” They discuss the proposed Lake Tahoe trip, and decide to opt out, not just because of the Toms, but because they need to focus on their sandwich shop. I know it shouldn’t make me laugh every time, but the fact that they’re opening a sandwich shop – and that it’s called Something About Her – really makes me lol.
Image credit: Bravo
Lala and Scheana pull up to the glorious Villa Rosa to visit Lisa, and they look ridiculously hot in their pool party getup. Lisa greets them, introducing them to her latest pup Donut (I can’t) and joking about their lack of clothing. Lisa is like your cute, old-school grannie who is riddled with internalised misogyny but you love her anyway because she means well.
The three sit down in Lisa’s gorgeous garden, and Lisa warns them, “I don’t think you’re gonna like everything I have to say”. Of course, we launch into Sandoval chat, with Lisa advocating for his mental health and urging the gals to start easing off. But the gals aren’t buying it. “He’s diving into this villain energy and I’m not here for it” Scheana tells Lisa, fresh off her SUR back alley Sandoval confrontation.
Lala points out that he’s now doubling down, and she’s pissed off about his lack of accountability. “I’ve messed up a lot of times, and I feel like I own it all the time”. Lisa turns the conversation to her brother and his passing, discussing the darkness she is beginning to recognise in Sandoval. “There’s only so much one person can take before they break,” Lisa solemnly tells them. The three women are emotional, with Lala saying that she doesn’t want Sandoval to wear this for the rest of his life. In her interview, she admits, “I never gave Sandoval’s mental health much thought”, as she had likened him to her ex Randall, who by all accounts sounds like quite the sociopath. “I don’t want to be angry all the time,” she continues. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love Lala and I love her journey of growth.
“This hasn’t been easy, for me especially,” cries Scheana (I laughed at the “for me especially”). Scheana is of course referring to her 15-year friendship with Sandoval. “Doesn’t it make it easier to forgive?” Lisa asks her. “Is it worth losing Ariana?” Scheana rebuts. In her interview, Scheana explains how Ariana made it very clear that anyone who chooses to keep Sandoval in their lives is essentially dead to her, but Scheana asks, “If someone is really struggling at this level, how do I keep coming for him?” The conversation moves to Tahoe and Lisa believes that it would be a good idea to invite Sandoval. “Let’s just stop attacking him”, she suggests.
Over at James and Ally’s, the gang starts arriving for some fun in the sun, including Schwartz. Is that… I ask myself… another plant in his hands? Ally confirms my suspicions, “I think this is like the third plant that Schwartz has brought us now, I’m gonna have to get a gardener”.
Schwartz is taking a break from his “semi-sober curious journey”, needing to take the edge off after his confrontation with the girls the night before. “They tarred and feathered me” he reflects, “but I’m Tom Schwartz, I’m not this accessory to the affair, there’s so much more to me than that”. We’re all having a swim and a laugh and it looks like a beautiful day. James and Schwartz take turns jumping off the roof into the pool and it scares me but I am ultimately relieved when they land safely.
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Sandoval (obviously not invited) and mate Billie Lee enter a venue called Into-Me-Sea (pronounced “Intimacy”) and I am pissing myself. They’re gonna get cold plunges which is a thing people do for some reason. “Through this whole situation, I’ve been really stressed out, depressed, overwhelmed. I realised that I have to be able to handle those emotions in different ways. In healthier ways,” Sandoval tells us in his interview. Sandoval gets in the bath, telling Billie Lee “It’s a 9” when she asks how intense it is from 1-10. I’m always at a 9 watching this cursed show.
In his interview, Sandoval reflects on his current friendship shortage. “I feel like Andy Dufresne when he first gets to Shawshank”, likening himself to the fictional inmate from The Shawshank Redemption (Sandoval sure does have a way of drawing parallels between himself and notable figures…). When he says, “It’s always the people that are closest to you that seem to hurt you the most,” I scream “YEAH KINDA LIKE WHEN YOU CHEATED ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR 7 MONTHS” at no one and I hope my apartment is soundproof.
Back at the pool party, Ally and Lala are joking about BBLs before having a more serious chat about James’ sobriety. Lala asks Ally how it’s going, and whether she thinks James would be receptive if she were to ask him about what made him sober up. Ally reckons that’s a great idea. During her interview, Lala informs us, “There’s something about the rock bottom moment that changes everything”. We see a flashback to her sharing her own rock bottom moment during a past season’s reunion, involving a hectic trip to Disneyland with her ex and his family. Lala knows that she and James have had their ups and downs, and she doesn’t want to trigger him with anything too deep. Given Lala’s tumultuous relationship with James’ ex Raquel, it’s nice to see her and Ally bonding. We see James outside showing Schwartz his drink which is also weed?? And then the bbq catches on fire and we’re all laughing about James being a big old kook. I wanna go to a bbq!
Lala swims on over to Schwartz for a little poolside chat. She acknowledges that she came at him hard the night before, telling him it’s something that she’s working on. “I can’t go from machetes to crying in the foetal position, there’s gotta be a middle ground for me,” she tells him. I LOVE HOW REFLECTIVE SHE IS. And so does Schwartz, although I think at this point Schwartz is just stoked when any of the cast talks to him. Schwartz tells Lala he felt as though Ariana was speaking to him as if he was subhuman, noting that she was giving “Diva energy as opposed to someone who has been hurt”.
Lala dodges it but tells Schwartz he handled himself well during the confrontation. She explains both to him and separately in her interview that she is working on practising forgiveness and not feeling so triggered by other people’s drama, “I cannot wear my trauma like a badge of honour anymore”. Lala tells Schwartz that she wants him to be less of a people pleaser, and apologises for their previous tension. “I’m sorry if I did not give you grace last year for what you were going through”. I LOVE LALA. “I’m sorry for the manner in which I retaliated,” says Schwartz. Guys this is really cute??? The two are having a big ol’ moment, and Schwartz encourages Lala to show this side of herself to Sandoval.
Back at Into-Me-Sea lol, Sandoval and Billie Lee are sitting down post-cold plunge for a chat. “Are you thinking about dating?” Billie Lee asks Sandoval, but he still misses Raquel. “What we had was definitely love, that’s why I was addicted to it”. This would be cute if he’d broken up with Ariana first and then pursued Raquel, but anywho. In his interview, Sandoval explains that he never saw the ghosting coming. We see footage of him chatting with Raquel prior to his NZ trip, telling her, “I love you and I’ll be gone for the next ten days or so, see you when I get back”. Sandoval and Billie Lee discuss where things are at now, with Billie Lee telling Sandoval, “I feel like the fucking world is hating on you so much and I’m just tired of it”. Sandoval solemnly reflects, “I lost all of my friends and I felt like maybe the best way to show that I’m sorry, and I feel like what everyone wants, is for me to go away”. Billie Lee comforts Sandoval when he tells them he just wants to be happy again. “You’ll get there.”
Back at the pool party, the girls are having a float’n’chat. Scheana fills Katie and Ariana in on her morning with Lisa and relays that the matriarch would like the gang to start laying off Sandoval, particularly due to her own family experiences. “Tom and her brother are very different people,” Ariana interjects. She’s not into this Lisa revelation. In her interview, she shares, “I can understand that maybe he has had some thoughts and some feelings, but like, those thoughts and those feelings are based on a situation that he created in which he didn’t give a fuck about anybody else’s mental health.” Scheana tells them that he was such an amazing friend to her, but Katie and Lala don’t want her to get sucked in. “This is a scary fucking person – it all to me feels like manipulation,” states Ariana. It’s all a bit much for a pool party I reckon.
Image credit: Hayu
It’s the next day, so there is, of course, a montage of everyone being a little rusty. Besides Lala, and James, who meet up for a chat at Lala’s apartment. “What made you wanna get sober? You don’t have to tell me” Lala launches straight in. “I’ll tell you something in confidence,” James begins, and I’m personally on the edge of my seat (couch). He explains to her that the messiness of Scandoval drove a real wedge between himself and Ally and that drinking wasn’t helping the situation. She even moved out for two nights and took the cats (not the cats!!).
In his interview, he explains that initially he was sober for two years after Raquel issued him an ultimatum, but he fell off the wagon when the two broke up. However, while rekindling with Ally was a catalyst for quitting drinking again, he feels as though this time around he was really doing it for himself. “I’ve seen those benefits before and I definitely want to see them again.” Lala reiterates that she would never share this with the group, and why would she when they can simply watch this scene back. Lala is wistful about her relationship with James, and I am too. She tells us, “We’ve gone from two kids being complete and utter trainwrecks to getting into relationships that then ended, we’ve gone through sobriety journeys together, it’s just hard to find someone like that that you’re kind of bonded with for life”. I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE TBH.
Over at Schwartz apartment, we find his friend Jo giving him a haircut on the floor. Ok. Schwartz initially struggles to contextualise Jo to us, before landing on: “Jo is a light in my life.” The two had a whirlwind romance after his Katie separation, and have become really good mates. That’s good I guess. Sandoval comes over and makes a joke about the hair on the floor, “Is this your pubes?” Shut UP Sandoval.
Schwartz invites Sandoval to Tahoe, telling him that their exes won’t be in attendance, however the rest of the gang will. Schwartz reckons this might be a good opportunity for Sandoval to ease back into the fold, “Maybe you leave your ego here and have some good one on ones”. Lol. In classic Sandoval fashion, he is immediately defensive. “I’m sorry I gave you so much content for your podcast!” he quips like an angry old man. “Lala and Scheana showed the entire nation how to treat us,” he tells Schwartz, which is somewhat true. While the ladies had successful podcasts prior to Scandoval, they definitely gained traction and followers during the aftermath and were not shy to share their opinions. Schwartz tells Sandoval that he thinks people are softening, and they might be ready to talk. “Just think about it,” he asks him.
Over to Scheana and Brock’s, where the two are getting ready for a double date with James and Ally. Tori (the new babysitter) arrives, and in her interview, Scheana tells us “As much as I trust Tori, the anxiety of leaving Summer with someone outside of my mum is a hard pill to swallow. I did call my sister Courtney to come help Tori… trust issues”. Hey, as long as Tori’s getting screen time. The two arrive at the restaurant and discuss how tonight is classed as progress for them re: the whole anxious attachment. James and Ally arrive, and Scheana tells them about her chat with Lisa. James has supposedly been summoned to chat with Lisa as well. They chat Tahoe and Scheana messages Schwartz who confirms that Sandoval has been invited. The four discuss the awkward situation they’ve all been thrust into, and how they’re unsure how to now navigate Sandoval’s mental health with their allegiance to Ariana. They land on the fact that they can all have empathy for someone who has fucked their whole life up. Cool.
The next day, James arrives at Vanderpump Dogs, gee’d up for his Sandoval chat with Lisa. Until… what’s this?? Who is bouncing down the stairs like a big cutie? It’s GRAHAM. AKA the dog that James and Raquel used to share. James is crying so I am of course tearing up. “James, he’s been rescued,” Lisa tells him. She explains that Graham had been in a foster home for two months, which makes James even more emotional. “I’m feeling anger, I’m feeling sad, I’m feeling confused. He’s my best friend, it’s literally a dream come true that he’s back with me” James tells us. CUTE. “He belongs with you,” says Lisa.
The episode ends which is good because I am exhausted, but overall a pretty solid episode 4.
Written by Lil Friedmann, lover of all things Bravo and staunch defender of reality television. You can follow her at @lilfriedmann on socials.
Season 11 of Vanderpump Rules is available to stream on Hayu from 31 January, with episodes dropping the same day as the USA.
Image credit: Bravo, Hayu + Punkee