What In The Fresh Heck Is JLo’s New Movie About?

I was aimlessly scrolling through Instagram today when Jennifer Lopez appeared before me.

This is a semi-regular occurrence as I follow her and the woman loves a selfie, but this time it was a trailer playing – specifically, the trailer to her new movie This Is Me… Now. I had already heard about this film and had mentally chucked it in the category of ‘celeb biopic/concert documentary’, likely to be something I watched while meal-prepping a massive batch of pasta. But as the trailer played I released I was very, very wrong. This is no behind-the-scenes tour movie, nor is it a factual look into JLo’s life. No, no. This is something entirely different.

I think you should just watch it here before I take this conversation any further.

@itspunkee excuse me, pardon, sorry to bother you @JLO but what is going on?! #jlo #jenniferlopez #thisisme #thisismenow ♬ original sound – Punkee

What.

Did.

We.

Just.

Witness.

Here are the facts that I am feeling semi-confident about: It’s a musical. Jennifer Lopez is playing the role of Jennifer Lopez. The wedding dresses are bad.

And here are my many, many questions:

Is Jennifer Lopez a part-time mechanic?

Does she have a sex addiction?

Why isn’t Ben Affleck playing the role of Ben Affleck?

What does brought to you ‘by the soul of Jennifer Lopez’ mean?

It seems to show parts of her childhood and her as an adult, but what about those messy teenage years? Are we getting 14-year-old JLo dealing with regular high school shit?

Has she ever actually been in a motorbike accident?

Where are her children?

Did she get proposed to on a cliff? In New Zealand?

What is made in this Mad Max-looking workshop?

How many rose petals were harmed in the making of this movie?

Who is Trevor Noah playing? And who is Keke Palmer playing? Or are they playing Trevor and Keke and are mates with Jenny IRL?

ARE ALIENS MAKING CAMEO APPEARANCES?!

What is going on here?

And perhaps the most crucial question of all: Does JLo know whats going on here?

I feel like it’s unlikely that Jennifer will reply directly to me to answer these questions, so I guess I’m locking myself into watching the movie when it drops on Prime Video on the 16th of February. I’ll report back if that leaves me with even more questions.

Image credit: Prime Video + Punkee