Want To Buy Your First Sex Toy? These Are The 9 Best Bullet Vibrators

If you just whack the words ‘sex toy’ into Google you’ll instantly be slapped in the face with thousands of terrifying 20-inch dildos with features that make zero anatomical sense. 

It’s overwhelming, exhausting and, to be honest, all a bit phallic.

So I’m here to help guide you away from the dong chaos and towards a more peaceful space where you can safely dive into the world of vibrators and find the perfect sex toy for YOU. 

I have always and will always recommend a bullet vibrator for your first rodeo and that’s for a few reasons. Firstly, because they are adorable and of a non-intimidating size and secondly, because they can really pack a punch in the pleasure department. They may be the stature of a lipstick, but good lord they can buzz!

But which bullet to choose? Here I’ve laid out my top 9 picks – along with the reasons for and against them so you can pick your perfect first sex toy. (Can you tell I’m stoked to be kickstarting you on this journey? Cos I am!)

Lovehoney mon ami Silicone Bullet Massager, $54.95

Lovehoney mon ami Silicone Bullet Massager review. Image: Lovehoney + Punkee.

Barely bigger than a USB stick but as bright as a banana, this little bullet is a great starting spot for your sex toy story. It has 10 different buzz levels to explore and it’s not battery operated (very important these days because who the heck has batteries anymore?!). 

The thing I always say you need to look out for with sex toys is the material they are wrapped in. I refuse to use anything that isn’t medical-grade silicone, metal or glass – because anything else (like plastic) is porous and essentially absorbs bacteria and then just holds on to it like a big old germ schlong. So silicone, metal or glass only please, cuties!

Adam and Eve 3.7″ Silky Sensations Silicone Bullet, $37.99

Adam and Eve 3.7″ Silky Sensations Silicone Bullet review. Image credit: Wild Secrets + Punkee.

I like to think of this as the Scandi-minimalist of all sex toys. Sleek shape, a cute calming colour and one button. That’s all you need folks! Pair this with a slick of water-based lubricant and half an hour of uninterrupted time and you’ll essentially have a at-home saucy spa retreat in your hands.

Je Joue 5.5″ Rabbit Bullet Vibrator, $107.99

Je Joue 5.5″ Rabbit Bullet Vibrator review. Image credit: Wild Secrets + Punkee.

Think of this as a halfway house between a bullet vibrator and a rabbit vibrator (which is arguably a few more rungs up the sex toy ladder). It holds the body of a bullet but places a pair of rabbit ears at the top that wiggle with the vibrations, and while it doesn’t look like much more would happen between those ears, MY GOD does it feels phenomenal. More of a tickly high-octane vibration that hits your sensitive points in a damn good way. 

Vush Peachy Rechargeable Silicone Bullet Massager, $49.95

Vush Peachy Rechargeable Silicone Bullet Massager review. Image credit: Lovehoney + Punkee.

What a cutie! This would be my recco for anyone about to head off on holidays, potentially with some mates or family members because this is one of the quietest bullet vibrators I’ve ever held in my hot little hands. It’s virtually silent, meaning if you’re using it in the privacy of your room or it randomly goes off in your hand luggage, your travel companions will be none the wiser. 

Satisfyer 5.5″ Ultra Power Bullet 8 with App, $61.99

Satisfyer 5.5″ Ultra Power Bullet 8 with App review. Image credits: Wild Secrets + Punkee.

Alright, now we’re in the heavyweight category of bullet vibrators. Why? Well because Satisfyer is one of the fancypants brands that wedge a lot of sophisticated technology into their dongs. Their Ultra Power bullet is a bigger build, coming in hot at 5.5 inches (when the rest are usually around 3 inches), and it has a targetted pleasure tip so you can point and shoot at the areas you want an extra buzz in. 

As an extra bonus, you can also pair this bullet with the Satisfyer Connect app to explore a library of vibration settings and even create your own. I’ve done this and synced the vibrations with the heaviest electronic dance song I could find and GOOD LORD, it did some damage. I’d definitely recommend a chiller track instead. Bit of Norah Jones? Adele? Maximum.

Smile Makers The Surfer, $33.95

Smile Makers The Surfer review. Image credits: Adore Beauty + Punkee.

This is the bullet for you if you love pressure orgasms. If you don’t know what that is, then let me explain. If you love a bit of dry humping, or if you’re a vulva owner and prefer going on top during hetero sex then you’re probably a sneaky pressure orgasm fan. The Surfer caters well to you because it has a bit more real estate than other bullets – allowing you to press its flat surface onto your downstairs department and puuuush. Don’t know it till you try it!

Lovehoney Dare Discreet Necklace Vibrator, $103.95

Lovehoney Dare Discreet Necklace Vibrator review. Image credit: Lovehoney + Punkee.

Okay, boujie moment! I know the classic storage spot for a bullet vibrator is in your bedside table or stuffed inside your toiletry bag, but have you ever thought about wearing it around your neck?! Yes, this sleek gold necklace can vibrate and be used all over your body.

It’s a ballsy way to enter the sex toy market, but one that you definitely get bonus brave points from me for. 

ROMP Riot Rechargeable Silicone Bullet Vibrator, $34.95

ROMP Riot Rechargeable Silicone Bullet Vibrator review. Image credit: Lovehoney + Punkee.

This is by far my go-to gift for mates keen to dive into the world of sex toys for the first time. It’s so adorable, non-threatening, not too intense and teeny tiny – so it’s a fun one to whip out during solo play or with partners. It also looks and feels a lot more expensive than it is… does this make me a cheap gift giver? Absolutely not!

Tracey Cox Supersex Powerful Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator, $79.95

Tracey Cox Supersex Powerful Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator review. Image credit: Lovehoney + Punkee.

If you haven’t heard of Tracey Cox before, let me formally introduce you to Britain’s Fairy Nutmother. She’s the OG sexpert and has released a billion books on sex, romance and all things intimacy – so she knows her stuff! Obviously, the logical next step was going to be sex toys, and her line is froth-worthy. This bullet is actually my fave from her collection because it’s so damn reliable and the slightly squishy top makes the vibrations go a lot further. A trusty steed for your masturbation sessions, if you will. 

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Image credit: Lovehoney, Wild Secrets + Punkee.