In Defence Of Dating Apps
If you’ve ever dated in the age of apps, you’ll have experienced *that* couple who simply must let you know, with a certain air of snobbery, that they’re SO glad they never had to use one of those disgusting apps.
Hell, you’ve probably deleted and redownloaded your apps a dozen times in the last month, too.
But, are dating apps really that bad?
People LOVE to tell you all the “bad” ways to meet the love of your life, or even just your love of the moment.
Before dating apps, it was out at the club. Before the club, it was probably at the corner store or something. For me, personally, I would never date a co-worker, because, professionalism. Yet, I know plenty of highly professional people who do — some even successfully so.
On dating apps now I am SO picky but when drunk in a bar all it used to take was a pulse and closing time
— $ARAH. (@Lantz_NYo_Pantz) August 29, 2021
So is there actually a ‘bad’ way to meet someone, or is it just that there are plenty of bad people to meet?
Let’s be real, most people are actually a bit shit — or at least just not a good match for us — so we all inevitably have to kiss several toads before the person and the timing is right.
I put it to you that dating apps aren’t bad at all, and actually give you the chance to meet amazing people you never would have crossed paths with in your regular life.
Like I said, dating someone at work just isn’t an option I’ve ever been comfortable with, and after you leave university there’s not a lot of other opportunities to spend a lot of time with new people, getting to know them before you develop feelings. I’m also super shy when I see a hot guy out and about, to the point that I will go out of my way to hide from him (which yes, is a whole different issue) so it’s not likely I’ll meet someone out unless they approach me. I travel solo a lot and make amazing connections that way, but then we all head back to our own countries.
So where the hell else am I meant to meet people, besides dating apps?
Nearly all my long-term adult relationships have started as a match on a dating app (although to be fair, the Australian dating scene is broken and as such I refuse to match with another Aussie). Most of my friends’ relationships also started on a dating app, and there’s even a Tinder wedding coming up soon.
And so what? Feeling some type of way about how you met your partner is truly ridiculous, I only care how the relationship is actually working.
Having said all of that, yes, there are so many left swipes a single person has to go through before they swipe right. And yes, some (even a lot) of those right swipes are still going to prove themselves truly awful to talk to.
So singles, you’re completely within your right to curse the dating apps, delete them, and redownload them months, weeks, or even days later. Because that’s dating — it can be great and fun, but it can also be frustrating and tiring. Because that’s how people are, and we’re dating people (hopefully).
But let’s not blame the apps.