Alyssa From ‘MAFS’ Spilt Piping Hot Tea About Duncan And Josh In An Insta Q&A Rampage

Grab yourself some popcorn, because Married at First Sight’s Alyssa Barmonde has spilled some juicy secrets about her reality TV experience. She’s known best for cringe catchphrases like “I have a child” and “I need attention”, but her “villain edit” saw her copping some nasty backlash later in the season. 

The ex-Mormon poured her heart out to Duncan James during Final Vows, declaring that she wanted to give things a go in the real world. However, Duncan had other plans, and he “blindsided” her when by calling it quits.

Fans have been bombarding Alyssa with questions about the show since it aired, and she has finally opened up about what happened behind the scenes. She spilled secrets about what she felt was missing from the edit, how producers apparently stopped her from leaving and why she wouldn’t stop talking about her child.  

From her ideal MAFS match to what Duncan is really like behind closed doors, we’ve sifted through the tea to bring you everything you need to know: 

Alyssa Barmonde on her mental health:

The single mum started off by telling fans how rough the entire experience has been on her mental health. While she’s feeling better now, she found herself at an all-time low when the show was airing.

“It was probably the darkest time in my entire life, and I have gone through some shit in my life,” she admitted. “That’s what really scares me about these shows, now living through it, is that somebody is going to go into this completely naive, completely ready to be manipulated, completely open-hearted… and they’re not going to be okay.”

Alyssa Barmonde on what was missing from her MAFS edit:

According to Alyssa, Duncan wasn’t able to accept that her son would always be first priority over him – but viewers didn’t get to see this onscreen. “One of the biggest things that made me so upset was they edited out [Duncan] saying it was a concern that my son was going to be first priority. But when you watch it, Alessandra asked him, ‘Is it a concern that Alyssa’s son is going to be first priority?’ and he goes, ‘No, it’s not a concern’,” she claimed. “That was not true. He said it was a concern.”

She also believes the pair had a pact not to blindside each other on the couch, but found herself being hit with new information during their couch sessions with the MAFS experts. 

“I got really upset because Duncan kept throwing me under the bus and blindsiding me on the couch,” she recalled. “He would blindside me, he would bring up something that we had never spoken about before, [things] that he felt, all this other stuff, and I was just like, what the fuck is going on?”

Alyssa went on to say that context was missing during the scenes that portrayed her in a negative light. While editors can’t edit what comes out of your mouth, they can stitch phrases together, and also leave out important parts of the scene. 

“If you’re having a fight with a friend and that other person is screaming at you, yelling at you, saying all these horrible things, and then you snap… and then, another person only just sees you snap,” she explained. “They’re going to be like, ‘She’s crazy, she has bipolar disorder, she has all these mental disorders’. Of course it’s going to look like that, because they have cut out all the context of what I am reacting to.”

Alyssa Barmonde on why she was so protective of her child:

Alyssa was crucified for saying she would only be able to see Duncan on Wednesdays and every second weekend, but she said that this was only temporary until she felt comfortable enough to introduce him to her son. 

“Your child is always going to be your priority, like no matter what. And I’m always going to be protective over him, especially if the person I’m dating is showing signs that he is not ready to settle down and he’s not being authentic in my eyes, of course I’m going to be guarded,” she said. “I’m not going to introduce Leon to just anyone I meet, because he’s really young.”

She claimed that Duncan’s sister even backed her up, saying: “She was like, ‘Duncan, it’s just temporary until you meet the child… and then you guys can spend all the time together’.”

Alyssa Barmonde on what Duncan James was like behind closed doors:

According to the Utah-born contestant, Duncan acted differently when the cameras weren’t around. She assured fans that he is a great guy, but she felt like she received some mixed messages.

“I feel like he was saying and doing things in a particular way…he was just careful with his words and what he was saying, and how he was presenting himself, because he was very different on camera, to off camera, to me. And I’m just speaking this from my own view,” she said.

“I just don’t think we were the right match. I think we are in two totally different life spaces, our trajectories are going in a very different way.”

Alyssa Barmonde on why she wanted to make things work with Duncan: 

Alyssa felt that Duncan was leading her to believe that the pair would give their relationship a shot after the experiment, and while they had some issues, she was willing to put in the work. 

The pair weren’t sure whether their relationship issues were caused by the MAFS “pressure cooker”, or if they would continue to run into roadblocks in the real world. “He kind of led me to believe that we were going to…at least try things out in the real world. Which is why I was shocked when he said no,” she said. 

“Duncan is a great guy, I really did fall for him… I was just holding onto this hope that what he was telling me off-camera was true, and that he did want to be with me. We had plans after final vows, and so yeah, I just didn’t think that he would dump me at final vows. I just didn’t think it could happen. I was absolutely shocked, I was absolutely blindsided, the tears were real, I just felt like, why was I leaving my child just to get my heartbroken? It sucked.”

Alyssa Barmonde on how MAFS producers apparently stopped her from leaving the show:

The MAFS contestant also spilled that she wanted to leave the experiment multiple times, but claimed the producers talked her into staying. 

“I tried to leave a lot of times. I think I told my family I was leaving like every single week,” she said. “They will not let you leave. They manipulate you and you know it’s very hard… they just make it very hard for you to leave. They will tell you anything you want to hear so you can stay.”

After she had a panic attack during a commitment ceremony, producers ran to her side and filled her head with reasons to stay. “They [said]: ‘Alyssa, we see you, we hear you, you are being such an inspiration to other mothers, you are so strong. Like, you’ve got this, please you need to stay, you need to go back in there’,” she recalled. 

Alyssa Barmonde on the groom that would have been a better match:

Looking back at the cast, there’s one person Alyssa wishes she was matched with from the beginning. Yep, you’ve guessed it, her pick is dorky dad Josh White. Not only has the Disney-obsessed groom previously gushed about the love he has for Alyssa on social media, but the pair are both single parents and get along like a house on fire. 

“He is the most kind-hearted person I’ve ever met in my entire life. He is one of the people that like just calls you to just check on you, for [a] mental health check, which is so nice. And yeah, we just get along really well,” she said. 

“He wasn’t on MAFS for very long, but we’ve caught up a few times after the show, and we chat very, very often. So definitely Josh, without a doubt, hands down. We used to work at the same company which is crazy, like it’s just a bit serendipitous. But Josh knows that I have a lot of love for him.”

Image credits: Channel 9/MAFS