married at first sight ep 3

Tonight’s MAFS Weddings & Honeymoons Retold Via The Best Tweets

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I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve spent the last 24 hours envisioning a show where Coco, my favourite new Married At First Sight contestant, is teamed up with Litney of Bachy fame and they both just run around causing chaos.

Unfortunately, that’s not on the cards just yet, so we’ll just have to make do with another episode of Married At First Sight.

Tonight we were invited to more weddings! I’ve officially attended more MAFS weddings now in my short, pathetic life than IRL ones. I’m not mad though, because it just means I don’t have to change out of my exercise tights, do my hair, and the ad breaks give me time to keep adding to my very long list of what I’m NOT looking for in a partner.

Tonight we met Alana, a headstrong school teacher with a ticking biological clock, who was paired up with Jason, a man who references his love of partying more than any kid doing O-Week after two goon sunrises.

We also witnessed the holy matrimony of single mum Jo, to single dad James. Jo’s a barber who had her self-esteem crushed by her ex-partner, and James does… something with cars. He really loves cars. “If you’re ever feeling down because you don’t have a partner, you can just jump in the Lamborghini and go for a drive and everything is good,” James told us, knowingly.

I guess it’s the same feeling I had when I used to have to manually roll the window down of my three-door Hyundai Getz because the air-con was broken. Freeing and sweaty.

And just when you thought the episode was over, well guess what! It wasn’t! Gosh, does this rollercoaster ever end?

After the weddings wrapped up, we checked back in with our couples as their honeymoons were announced, but not everything was rainbows and sunshine. Melissa and Bryce may have started with a bang, but they ended this episode on fragile ground after Bryce put his foot in it by saying Melissa wasn’t his “usual” type.

Thankfully, he kindly proceeded to tell Melissa that his first thoughts about her were that “she’s not ugly”.

Married At First Sight' recap, Season 5 Episode 22: Sex therapy and a huge fight about Snapchat - 9Honey

Straight men are not OK.

Let’s get into it! Here are the best tweets from episode three of Married at First Sight.

We check in on our newly married couples and Sam watches on in astonishment as Coco weighs her hummus. Meanwhile, Booka and Brett continued to be the perfect couple and if they break up, I’ll cancel this show.

The experts go back to what they do best: matching people up for pure and utter chaos. First up, we meet cool teacher Alana who’s worried about being alone at 30, and party-loving tradie Jason who adores his nieces.

Then we meet Jo, learn about her trashbag ex, and get introduced to her new husband James, who made his first million in his late-twenties. Jealous!

Jo and James hit it off at their wedding, despite James’ choice in attire…

…meanwhile, Alana and Jason were more nervous but eventually tied the knot with a polite kiss on the cheek.

Jason’s dad decided to throw his party-loving son under the bus in front of his new bride, referencing a time he had to pick him up from the gutter. Hot.

And James and Jo got cheeky, and we witnessed some of James’ very “middle-aged man at a nightclub trying to seem with it” dance moves.

The first round of honeymoons kicked off and things weren’t much better with Bec and Jake, who talked about trees before Jake went in for an ill-timed kiss.

And Bryce dug himself a grave with Melissa, admitting she wasn’t his usual type but hey, at least she’s blonde!

See you tomorrow night for more mayhem and don’t forget to join our Facebook group Reality Tea to discuss everything MAFS-related with us.