The Definitive Ranking Of Pizza Toppings From ‘Eww’ To ‘Epic’
Right now, ordering food is the only thing (aside from reality TV drama) that brings me pure joy and it’s got me thinking more than ever before about pizza, and more specifically: what pizza toppings are the best?
In a recent study, Menulog found that the most ordered pizza across Australia on the delivery app was the humble margherita, with meat lovers and Hawaiian coming in as a close second and third. I was a little shook by these results and decided it was time to decide, once and for all, which pizza topping reigns supreme…and no, the winner is not supreme (see what I did there, little pizza humour for ya).
Get ready to furiously disagree!
We ranked all the most popular pizza toppings from ‘eww’ to ‘epic’.
#11. Quattro Formaggio (aka Four Cheeses)
Cia WikiCommons
This pizza is simply too cheesy. I know it’s supposed to be fancy, but I just can’t support a sauceless pizza. You need that contrast —the bitterness of the tomato to counteract the richness of the cheese — and this pizza is just one note of cheese and cheese and cheese and cheese. I’m cheesed off just thinking about it.
#10. Meat Lovers
Via TripAdvisor
I ate a lot of meat lovers pizza in my youth and I also habitually got food poisoning a lot. Coincidence? There just something that freaks me out about a selection of non-descript meats being piled on a pizza. I rarely say this but there’s too much topping. It’s a travesty.
#9. Vegetarian
Via Tripadvisor
OK, so I don’t actually hate vegetarian pizza but it’s very rare that you find a good one. Most of time the pizzas are just a mash-up of capsicum, onion, olives and pineapple, which taste overly sweet and overpowering. Some restaurants chuck on artichokes or some asparagus and that’s when I’m on board. But like how meat lovers is just too much meat, vegetarian is lacking some kind of salty or greasy protein.
#8. Supreme
Via WikiCommons
Supreme is essentially the brainchild of meat lovers and vegetarian so you’d think it would be the perfect pizza, right? Wrong. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a supreme pizza where the capsicum wasn’t still crunchy and the onion still uncooked. Having raw vegetable besides cooked meat is not a vibe.
#7. Aussie
Via Tripadvisor
If it’s un-Australian to dislike Aussie pizza then call me Russell Crowe. While I can tolerate egg in a burger, egg on a pizza is a step too far. It freaks me out, especially as one time I ate a slice and the egg was uncooked and I still have PSTD from it. When the egg is cooked *shudders* it tastes acceptable but tbh, Aussie just tastes like a Hawaiian without pineapple — which means it’s just a shit Hawaiian.
#6. Capricciosa
Via Tripadvisor
I don’t think I’d ever choose to order this pizza but I also wouldn’t kick it out of bed. Why do I have pizza in my bed? Mind your business. The flavour combo of mushrooms, ham, artichokes and olives is classic and it just works. Does it get me excited though? Not so much, but it’s tasty.
#5. Mexican
Mexican pizza can come in many different ways, depending what your local pizza joint prefers. Most often this pizza is topped with ham, salami, capsicum, tomato, olives and some kind of spicy element like jalapeños and chilli flakes. Mexican pizza is one of the newer widely available flavours and I understand the appeal. I’m a fan.
#4. BBQ Chicken
This is a controversial one. People either love BBQ chicken pizza or they hate it and can recall the time they think they almost died after eating one. I feel your pain, as I haven’t always had the greatest experience with this pizza but I also believe that when it’s good, it’s better than any other pizza. It has so much flavour, and the BBQ sauce takes it to the next level.
#3. Margherita (aka Cheese)
Via Tripadvisor
Margherita is a simple pizza, which, when done bad (too much cheese) can be disgusting, but when done well is one of the purest and most enjoyable eating experiences ever. If it’s listed as ‘cheese pizza’ that usually means it will be pretty basic. I prefer the more gourmet versions of margherita pizza with a flavourful sauce, the correct portion of cheese and a sprinkle of basil leaves.
#2. Pepperoni (aka American)
Via Tripadvisor
Imho, pepperoni is basically a margherita pizza but just slightly better. It has everything that’s on a cheese pizza but with the addition of delicious, crispy pepperoni. I also find that it doesn’t matter where you buy a pepperoni pizza, it’s good anywhere which can’t be said for the majority of the above pizzas. Pepperoni is a dependable old friend who will never let you down.
#1. Hawaiian (aka Tropical)
Via Tripadvisor
This will be a contentious number one. Wanna fight me? I’m ready. It’s hard to explain why Hawaiian is such an epic topping, after all besides sauce and cheese it only contains two ingredients — but they work together in perfect synergy. It’s like art. It’s like a symphony. The oily saltiness of the ham contrasts perfectly with the fresh sweetness of the pineapple and anyone who doesn’t think pineapple belongs on pizza needs reassess their life choices.
Pineapple brings pizza to life and Hawaiian pizza is my personal lifeline in times of stress aka this hellfire of a year. It brings back feel-good memories from my childhood and most importantly, every bite just tastes absolutely delicious.
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