Our Foolproof Guide To Surviving Christmas Day

We all know the perfect picture of Christmas: family and friends enjoying the sun and cooking up a feast on the barbie.

Yet, this depiction rarely portrays the true nature of Christmas – stress, conflict, rain, and uncomfortable conversations with extended family you’d rather not see. This article is a quick guide on how to survive the jolly season without developing chronic high blood pressure.

Here’s our foolproof guide to surviving this Christmas period relatively unscathed.

1. Mentally Plan Ahead

Preparation is key. We know for a fact that you can’t control other peoples’ actions. However, you can control your own and adapt to family dynamics to make your own experience (and the experience of others) a little easier!

When we return to family settings, we often revert to outdated familial roles. Parents can forget that their children are grown adults with families. It’s essential to keep this in mind and balance assertiveness with conflict avoidance. Don’t sweat little things, but don’t be afraid to call out the family for things that really matter.

Beyond pre-event mental preparations, consider formulating a plan for when you’re right in the middle of it. Ask yourself some crucial questions: what time are you arriving? What time are you leaving? Is there anyone to avoid? Where are you going to sit? Who spills the best tea?

Subtle exit strategies can also be discussed with accompanying significant others. Examples could involve smokescreen tactics, group goodbyes through air kisses, or needing to go feed an absent neighbours’ pet. A designated driver also cuts the costs of surges on rideshare apps!

2. Ignore Ignorance

There’s always going to be a well-known villain of decent conversation. Usually, this will manifest through controversial opinions on identity, youth, and issues that don’t relate to them. A hard and fast fact: arguing won’t help. Like the quinoa and ancient grain salad, their view will go untouched.

Save yourself the emotional energy and avoid that person like an indoor shopping centre in Sydney in July 2021. Instead, find a relative that you genuinely enjoy. Otherwise, families usually have a collection of untapped cousins that cannot be realistically distinguished. It may not be the most enthralling conversation, but it definitely won’t cause you to leave prematurely with a bad taste in your mouth!

3. Find the Nearest Dog/Cat/Stick-Insect

Ideally, there will be an abundance of animals present on Christmas Day. Whether it’s a sassy Pomeranian or a lazy Great Dane, dogs are great distractions and will never question your life choices to do an arts degree.

Grab your nearest furry (or spiny) friend and find a spot to cuddle, play fetch, or even just rumble for a few minutes.  Animals are the ultimate sources of unconditional love and are scientifically proven to reduce stress in high-intensity situations.

4. The Right Kind of Time Out  

Even extroverts find Christmas exhausting. The build-up to the festive season is filled with mental planning, frantic dashes to overcrowded shopping malls, and waiting in line for fresh seafood for hours. Christmas day is no better: waking up early, engaging in countless conversations, faking smiles. It’s honestly exhausting.

Mental and physical fatigue makes us susceptible to experiencing negative emotions, such as frustration, irritability, or bitterness. Be aware of your body and emotions on Christmas. Are you finding yourself getting more annoyed than usual?

If you find yourself starting to falter, get out of there! You’re far better off taking time for yourself to recover than you are meeting the expectations of others, especially if these interactions are bound to turn sour. Time out could be as simple as a brief walk, or, if it comes down to it, heading home.

5. Don’t cope with drugs, kids!

While a cheeky beer, vino, or eggnog may make the day go quicker, it can quickly make us more susceptible to conflict or fatigue and could cause a little *drama*. Drinking and engaging in other vices, while enjoyable, can exacerbate our already heightened emotions.

Like exhaustion, being aware of how much you’ve consumed is crucial. It’s often a slippery slope when trying to cope with high-intensity situations like your Aunty’s recent divorce. My advice: moderation, moderation, moderation.

Keep the excessive consumption to New Year’s Eve!

6. Put on a (Crappy) Christmas Movie

If nothing else works at the end of the day, then chuck on a crappy Christmas movie. While in any other circumstance leaving a crowd to watch a 4.3 on IMDB would be the ultimate insult, it’s a somewhat acceptable movie on Christmas. Not only is enjoyable for you, but it provides an opportunity to keep children quiet, or even gives others time to pop in and rest their social motor.

You can’t go wrong putting on Love, Actually or Home Alone. Let’s be honest: even a bad Christmas movie is a good Christmas movie. Even if the day wasn’t perfect, you can never forget deluded, yet truthful, words of the drunk Billy Mack: “I realised that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.”