13 Things That Happened On Tonight’s Official ‘Bachy Shutdown’ Episode

Tonight’s episode of The Bachelor brought with it the life plot twist that even the psychic couldn’t see coming – we officially saw the show shut down production due to Covid-19.

Obviously, this was filmed months ago and we already knew with the season premiering that they had not only sorted out a way to do ongoing Zoom dates (triggered), but production did go back eventually to film the rest of Locky’s season. I mean, imagine a Zoom finale and what that would involve? If someone tried to dump me I’d just yell “sorry?? you’ve frozen, I can’t hear anything?” until they changed their mind.

Before tonight’s episode ended with the dramatic shutdown of the show, Locky first got to take the girls on a group date to a psychic (honestly, my dream first date), and Roxi won some solo time. That didn’t stop her crying at the cocktail party though. More on that later.

With Locky having to kick out five girls at the rose ceremony, the atmosphere was tense but really the five girls who were kicked out must be counting their lucky stars right now that they never made it to Zoom dates.

Let’s dive straight into what happened in episode 7 of The Bachelor. 

1. First up, Osher came in to break the news that Covid-19 had got worse and the country was going into lockdown, but ironically enough the Bachy mansion was one of the safest places to be right now.

Unless you’re enemies with Roxi, it’s less safe then.

It’s kind of funny watching this back assuming it was filmed around late March, early April. Remember those days? We naively hoped it’d all be over by September maybe? Lmao!

2. The group date was to be held in the house, and psychic Alison Maiden came to do compatibility tests with the lucky chosen ladies.

The leftovers got to watch the dates with the comfort of their YouFoodz. I wonder if YouFoodz will also find them during the lockdown episodes.

3. Psychic Alison saw Locky having a little boy in the future, and STRANGELY Bella is also having a little boy in the future.

I assume she means a real live child, not a footy frank.

Things got sad when Alison picked up an energy from a grandparent of Bella’s. It turns out Bella’s grandad is battling lung cancer and she freaked out thinking maybe he’d died and was sending her a message. Thankfully Bella got to call home and found out that he was OK, but things sure got dark there for a second!

I’ve got to drink my fifth margarita to recover, brb.

4. Intermission: Llama.

5. The ladies then went on one-on-ones with Psychic Alison and Locky. Bel, who could be an intruder for all I know, got a rose out of it.

Look, I didn’t even get a screenshot of her, I just got this screenshot of psychic Alison saying Bel would be a better match for Locky than whoever came before her, because they had a past war connection where she was his nurse and he was her patient. I hope they get to act that out on their solo date.

The other tea from the psychic was that she saw Irena and Locky as “two old souls coming together” which is also what I say when I order KFC hungover. She then said Roxi is hard work but worth it, and told Locky to get the “jackhammer” out to break down those walls.

Triggered. No one wants a guy to jackhammer them.

6. Locky took Roxi on a single date back to the Bach pad where they constantly avoided all eye contact with each other when talking.

Rocking up on a motorbike and instantly impregnating half the house, Locky then whisked Roxi away and she decided it was time to let him jackhammer down her walls. They both struggled to look at each other the whole time (nerves? distaste? boredom? barely contained horniness?), but Roxi expressed that she has her walls up when it comes to men and relationships, which is what I just call being a straight woman.

“I feel like you wouldn’t lie, I don’t think you’d be disrespectful to a partner,” Roxi said to Locky.

No comment.

7. Roxi then dragged him by calling his kisses “innocent” and said she wanted to be “bent like a pretzel.”

“Throw me down and bend me like a pretzel,” Roxi said, which is a dangerous thing to say to a red-blooded male dating numerous beautiful women but only being allowed to politely kiss them.

Anyway, clearly Roxi hasn’t hit her thirties and known true back pain, because the only person bending me like a pretzel right now is my physio.

8. Nicole and Laura dressed up like a Christmas tree for the cocktail party.

Laura lamented that she’s never been on a motorbike but she’s played Mario Kart which is basically the same thing. “Where is this bloke, I’m bloody tired!” she then shouted, cementing her status as queen of my heart.

Me when I ordered a margarita 30 seconds ago and it still hasn’t arrived.

Osher rocked up out of the blue to announce five girls would be going home that night. After all, the Rona dictates no more than 10 in a house gathering! If you’re lucky anyway (sorry Victorians).

9. Locky and Bella shared a sneaky pash at the cocktail party except it wasn’t really that sneaky.

Bella told Locky she didn’t strategically stand next to him so he’d grab her first which sounds totally fake, but OK. She then decided to take what psychic Alison told her to heart and be more confident in herself, so she kissed him goodbye in front of… everyone.

Of course, this left the other ladies shocked.

10. In the least surprising news of the night, Roxi was the most distraught about the sly kiss.

I’m going to retell it briefly to you like this.

Roxi was super mad and asked Bella if she kissed Locky. “I just need to take five,” she said to Bella’s blank face.

Roxi then stormed off…

…before shouting and crying to anyone near her that her walls are back up and that she should’ve been able to cherish her moment and date with Locky longer before Bella went in and pecked him on the lips.

Eventually Locky pulled her aside to chat, and she cried to him about not feeling good enough and her moment being taken from her. When is the couples therapy episode? Asking for these two. I know a newly free agent therapist that could give them some much-needed advice.

11. At the rose ceremony, Osher relished in saying goodbye to five girls.

Why is he so amused?! Absolutely loving kicking numerous girls out for the drama, what a sicko.

12. QUEEN LAURA WAS KICKED OUT!!! How dare!!

Areeba also left, but she left with a bang of course. “This is the first time I’ve ever been rejected by a guy, I don’t care because he obviously likes basic girls,” she smirked to the camera. Bye queen. We’ll miss you.

Oh yeah, Miss Australia, Eyebrows, and… the other girl left too.

13. As the night wrapped up, Osher told Locky production had to shut down and Locky had to say goodbye to his remaining 10 brides.

Not before sanitising though!

“You never know how long it’ll be until I see Bella’s face… I’m disappointed I didn’t kiss Irena more….and I got little firecracker Roxi,” Locky said sadly. Pour one out for him. Welcome to the Rona life, Locky, sorry your horny adventure had to switch to video calls like the rest of us desperate singles*.

*Just kidding, no one’s video calling me.

Tomorrow night: Love in lockdown continues! How long will we all last watching Zoom dates for fun? Will it make me download Houseparty again and metaphorically crash someone’s room? Will they kiss each other by kissing their laptops? Why am I kissing my laptop right now?!

God this is going to be so awkward. Talk about it with us in our Facebook group for all things Bachy-related!