Our Predictions For This Season Of ‘Bachelor In Paradise’
If you know anything about us at Punkee, you’ll know we bloody love the Bachy franchise.
With Bachelor In Paradise due to hit screens in a WEEK, it’s basically like Christmas for us. The delay of the season has only made the heart grow fonder, and in that time we’ve been able to rest and recharge from the last reality shitshow to hit our screens, which was MAFS all those months ago.
While MAFS brings the stress, Bachelor In Paradise is a good vibes only show, with just the right hint of romance and drama to keep us hooked. We’ve gone through the promos and narrowed down some predictions for the season ahead. Between the two of us (Punkee editor Tahlia and Punkee senior writer Tara) we’ve watched an excessively embarrassing amount of reality TV over the last few years, so from time to time we like to think we know what we’re talking about.
And when we don’t know, we’re happy to just take a wild stab in the dark.
Here are our Bachelor In Paradise predictions for 2020:
The most likely couples:
Tahlia: Britt & Timm (because of the promos, duh), and given ALL the rumours and sneaky pap shots from late last year, it’s hard to look past Ciarran and Kiki.
But! Now this is where I tried to become a detective. In the latest promo, I’m spying a tall man with a blonde lady, and it makes me think it’s this guy Greg everyone keeps talking about. Wait, no, Glenn.
Who’s his blonde lady? Keira? Helena? I definitely heard Alisha’s voice in that promo too, so Alisha?!
Tara: Ooooh, I’d love to see Alisha again — she low-key made season two. From the promos, it’s clear that Timm and Britt will become an item. While the ads are trying to make it seem like Ciarran and Abbie are going to be a couple, I predict it’s going to all blow up in Ciarran’s face. We know Abbie left Fiji early into the season, so that means Ciarran moved on and I agree, it sounds like he ends up with Kiki.
I’d also bank on Jake and Helena getting together, as we spotted them on a date in the latest promo and simply because they are both attractive but equally forgettable.
The person who will cause the most drama:
Tahlia: Well, now that we know Queen Keira is back, I’m sure she’ll cause a stir because she’s already warning people not to mess with her in the promos. But, boy, that Greg looks like a troublemaker! Glynn? Glenn? Whatever. He just screams drama to me after the season he was on where he… existed.
Tara: Greg is going to blow shit up! ALSO OK, so I don’t like Cassandra’s tone in one of promos when she says, “Abbie generally gets what she wants,” so I reckon there’s drama brewing between her and Abbie. Will they both go for Ciarran? Probably. They’re human after all. I predict a mean girls crew will assemble and go after Abbie, like it’s basically 2019 all over again. Ah, simpler times.
The biggest stage-5 clinger:
Tahlia: Lmao, haaaaave you met Jamie?
Tara: 100%. Jamie will return to being Bachy’s resident stage five clinger. Nature is healing. But I also wouldn’t underestimate Keira, as when she locks in on a guy (ala 2019’s BIP with Jarrod) she can be very persistent. I can see Keira picking her target early on and sticking with him — whether he likes it or not. I can relate.
The biggest fuckboi:
Tahlia: Ciarran’s already giving interviews where he says Australia’s perception of him may change, so I think we can safely assume our national hero from last year is now going to be our national fuckboi.
Tara: Huge agree. I’m expecting to see a very different side of Ciarran this time around as he gets knocked off his pedestal. Let’s also not forgot about BIP’s OG fuckboi, Jake, who is bound to break some hearts.
The life of the party:
Tahlia: I mean we all know Litney got her name for a reason, but it’s too obvious. I’m going to go left-field and throw Janey into the mix, simply because we don’t remember anything about her. Maybe she’ll take over the chaotic reigns.
Tara: I have high hopes for Niranga. If all else fails, we can always depend on Ciarran to get loose and take his clothes off for no apparent reason. I don’t think anyone would object.
The friendzone couple:
Tahlia: Jamie and… everyone? Nah, my prediction is Jake and Helena. She seems like someone he’d pursue and she seems like someone who would friendzone him.
Tara: I don’t know, people seem to find Jake very charming (I don’t get it??). Like, aside from Georgia Love, women generally fall at his feet on Bachy. I can see Abbie friendzoning every guy who isn’t Ciarran, and sadly Litney might be headed for more heartbreak, maybe getting friendzoned by Niranga or Garth…or is it Gary?
The husband material:
Tahlia: I’m really rooting for Niranga for this one. Bring it home for me, Niranga. Also bring my dinner home while you’re there. (In this scenario, Niranga and I are a couple.)
Tara: I love Niranga but Timm has my heart. I have had a crush on Timm since he stumbled onto The Bachelorette holding a bouquet of sunflowers and I really want him to fulfil his potential. Sometimes he can be great and you know, act like an adult man, other times he pees in random bushes. I’m hoping this season, we see Timm at his best and he treats Brittany like the queen that she is.
The wifey material:
Tahlia: Britt. 100% wifey material and one of those dumb idiot men should lock her down, but also she’s too good for them.
Tara: Huge same. Honey Badger did this woman dirty and she deserves the whole damn world.
The biggest paradise shit-stirrer:
Tahlia: Timm was a MASSIVE shit-stirrer in his season but it flew under the radar because he was also a hot favourite. I reckon he’ll get up to stirring some drama in paradise in his classic chaotic way.
Tara: For sure. I can see Timm and Ciarran teaming up this season. They were often butting heads in their season of The Bachelorette, but I reckon the relaxed island vibes will unite them and they’ll be nothing but trouble.
Jamie should also be on notice, as he has a tendency to plot against people just to make himself look better, which is what he did to Carlin in his season. Oh, and let’s not forget Mary. During her season of Bachy she was always saying sassy things on the sidelines, so hopefully she keeps stirring the pot.
Most likely American intruder:
Tahlia: Well, I mean… bring back American Alex PLEASE, but Canadian Daniel is the more obvious choice, right? Third time lucky?
Tara: A girl can dream. I love that dumb hunk of Canadian bacon. If they’re plucking drama-magnets from recent US seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, then I’m praying for someone like Bri Barnes (the contestant who pretended to be Australian) or a notorious trash person like Chad Johnson. I’d pay to watch Abbie drag his ass.
Who we wish would come to paradise:
Tahlia: Did you hear me say American Alex before?
Tara: If Kayla wasn’t dating Mick from MAFS, then she would be perfect for paradise. She could swim in the villa pool ALL DAY (even fully clothed, like she did on Bachy!) and no one would question her life choices.
Most likely proposal:
Tahlia: Me and my bottomless margarita. Also, there’s a high chance Jamie might just propose to every woman thinking that’s what the aim of the show is, and let me tell you, I’d watch the shit out of that.
Tara: Aww, Jamie. I’d put good money on him proposing on day one…possibly to a random hotel staffer who he’s confused for a contestant. As far as an actual couple getting engaged, I think the most likely is Timm and Brittany as after getting to the finals of their respective Bachy seasons, they’re both probably keen to lock someone down for good before they can escape! A huge mood.