How To Get Over Being Dumped This Festive Season

According to data analysed by Facebook, more couples break up on December 11 than any other day of the year.

So if you’ve survived December so far and are still with your significant other, go off! While there is definitely never a good time to go through a breakup, going through one around Christmas time definitely does NOT pass the ‘happy holidays, Christmas cheer’ vibe check. Really, it should be illegal. 

Unfortunately, there is nothing that will take the pain of a breakup away, so you really have no other choice than to just feel it. It isn’t ideal but the more you can lean into your grief, the easier and quicker it will be to process it and start to feel OK again.

Luckily, there are some things you can do this Christmas season to help make it all a little bit easier on your heart, especially when everyone around you is so bloody loved up and gross. 

Here are our top tips for getting through a festive season breakup.

1. Boundaries are your bestie!  

In an ideal world, your breakup would occur in a random month like April: you could call in sick to work, climb under the covers and watch your fave show with your Ben and Jerry’s.

Unfortunately for you, it’s December and there seems to be a large number of unnecessary lunches, drinks, work parties, and dinners doused in tinsel you have to make appearances at. Everyone from your Grandma to your co-worker is going to want to know what happened. Who broke it off, why didn’t it work out, what are you going to do now?

The good news is that you don’t have to answer a single one of these questions unless you want to. You have the right and the power to refuse to share any info on your breakup. This can definitely be easier said than done, but the anger that comes with heartbreak can actually be a really powerful tool. It will give you the energy you need to feel completely fed up and put your foot down. An example sentence you can use might look something like this, “Karen, thank you so much for all your questions but I don’t feel comfortable discussing [redacted’s] decision to smash my heart in with a hammer right now. Would you like some more trifle?” 

2. The only gift you’ll use over and over this Christmas is Taylor Swift’s 10-minute version of ‘All Too Well‘. 

Christmas is known as the time to be thankful for a lot of things. You’re obviously not going to be feeling very grateful right now, but if there’s one thing you can be appreciative of, it’s the 10-minute version of ‘All Too Well’ from Red (Taylor’s Version). You will have gone through the whole seven stages of the grieving process by the time this song ends and, as a bonus, it has absolutely no jingle bells in it.

3. Do Not Watch Love Actually. 

Hugh Grant may be telling you that “love actually is all around”, but we are not listening to that very handsome British man right now. You really don’t need to see people falling in and out of love with Christmas lights and roast pork in the background when that’s already your very painful reality.

Goodbye to the romantic Christmas movies and hello to your new favourite genre of movie this holiday season known as ‘Tom Cruise in any action movie ever.’ His running scenes will cure you because instead of thinking about love you’ll just be thinking, “Why is he running like that?” 

4. It’s sexy to be sexy! 

It’s important to not put pressure on yourself about how you are processing your grief. If it makes you feel good to get on dating apps, do that. If it makes you feel good to sleep with the cute bartender who drives a motorbike who has been flirting with you all night, definitely do that because they are super hot and you won’t regret it.

There are no rules and there is no right and wrong way to feel your pain despite what anyone might think or tell you. If you want to flirt and get back out there, go for it. There is no right time to get back on the horse/reindeer, it’s up to the person that matters the most to decide that and that person is YOU. 

5. Your best friends are your soulmates and romantic partners are just people to have fun with (or whatever Charlotte York said in that episode of SATC.) 

Now more than ever it’s time for your friends to rally around you and hold you close. They will help patch up that hole in your heart and alleviate any sadness by listening to you and loving you fiercely. It’s time to fill up your days with your besties and distractions – this will honestly be the best medicine and the biggest source of comfort. There is nothing like love-filled nights out and hungover brunches with your friends to cure your broken heart. 

And finally, buy yourself a vibrator for Christmas because you are going through something huge and horrific and you really deserve to show yourself some love right now. Give yourself the orgasms your ex never could. 

You’ve got this!