We Can Guess Your Personality Based On Your ’00s Teen Crush
If you were a teenager in the ’00s, then you will likely remember being utterly obsessed with a handful of hotties who you probably haven’t thought about in over a decade.
Chad Michael Murray, Milo Ventimiglia and Adam Brody were truly hot property back then, with each representing a different kind of dream boy niche. From the introspective softboi, to the mysterious bad boy, to the adorable nerd, these are just some of the types of men who were glorified by teens the world over.
But does your specific teen crush have any affect on who you grew up be as an adult? It’s time to find out!
We Can Guess Your Personality Based On Your Teen Crush:
1. Chad Michael Murray
Whether it was Chad from One Tree Hill, A Cinderella Story, or even Gilmore Girls, you were absolutely hot for piece of CMM back in high school. Chad stans are constantly snacking on a box of Pizza Shapes, which you keep in your Mimco handbag at all times. You like to think of yourself as your friendship group’s relationship counsellor, even if your advice every single time is to simply shout “Dump him!” while lapping up an espresso martini.
You casually date multiple people at once, as you prefer the single life. You can’t parallel park, you waste all your money on linen sheets, and you spend waaaay too much time watching trashy thrillers on Netflix. Anything with a serial killer or abduction, you say “Sign me TF up!”
2. Milo Ventimiglia
Speaking of Gilmore Girls, you don’t get much cuter than bad boy Jess Mariano aka Milo Ventimiglia. Because let’s be real: who the hell would be Team Dean, am I right? (Although Team Logan has its charms.) These days you’re the kind of person who never replies to your friends’ texts. You’re known for disappearing on nights out, completely ghosting your mates, then reappearing the next morning as though nothing happened.
You also tend to find yourself getting injured no matter what you do. You walk to get a coffee and trip over, scrapping your knee. Even just reaching for a pen, you will pull a muscle. You have bruises in places one should not have bruises. You’re Facebook friends with your GP. You’re a straight-up liability.
3. Usher
This is my confession: Usher is a slamming hottie. Usher had a big moment in the ’00s and he practically invented dance! No one can move quite like Usher, and for teen fans of the singer, you probably consider yourself quite the mover and groover. You take over every dancefloor and have been escorted out of the pub on more than one occasion for causing a scene.
Excuse me? The cover band were playing ‘Don’t Cha’ and you just had to lift your leg in the air or you simply will not make it as a Pussycat Doll!! You think RnB Fridays are life, and when you’re not planning your whole week around that blessed day, you’re obsessed with buying homewares from Kmart and getting way too excited about online tupperware.
4. Zac Efron
If this is you, then the High School Musical trilogy will likely make you feel things you shouldn’t be feeling when watching a tween film series — you’re feeling things in your undercarriage. You filthy bitch. You’re still a Wild Cat at heart and find yourself getting overly competitive in every aspect of your life. You have to be the best at everything and it just so happens that you usually are.
You’re super organised, you’re famous for your excel spreadsheets which you use to categorise your thoughts and make all your decisions. You’re a dependable friend, often the designated driver on nights out, but on the nights you do drink, you’re known for going a little too hard. Shouting the whole gang fireball shots is your go-to move and having bank balance regret the following day is a feeling you know all too well.
5. Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I understand that Spike has a name (James Marsters) but I am specifically talking about this Buffy character, rather than the actor who played him. Spike was a goddamn dream, and the blonde vampire who went from being a villain to Buffy’s love interest sent fans in a spin. If you were a hardcore Spike stan, these days you channel your obsessive tendencies into a new true crime show or book. You can binge an entire series over a week, or read a book in one day.
When you’re not watching or reading, you busy yourself by judging annoying influencers on Instagram or taking about 3000 photos of your many (many!) cats. You’re happy to live a fairly independent life, as people can get on your nerves. You have a tight family and small group of friends, and you’re known for your dark sense of humour. Your dating life is an absolute mess, but you would rather play the field than settle down with the wrong person. Every Drusilla needs their Spike, right?
6. Dean Geyer
If you watched the early (and best) seasons of Australian Idol, there is zero chance that you didn’t have a dirty crush on Dean Geyer. The ridiculously handsome South African-born singer was nothing short of a sensation when he competed on the fourth season and placed third. If you had a teen crush on Dean, these days you’re really into yoga, more specifically Yoga with Adriene, and doing constant meal-prepping which you love to tell everybody and anybody about. I really don’t care about how many portions you can fit in your freezer, Kylie!
Aside from planning all your meals meticulously, you treat yourself to a morning ice coffee or an afternoon bubble tea every now and then. Your taste in music leans heavily on early ’00s rock and you tend to take over the microphone on any karaoke night, breaking into Blink 182’s ‘Miss You’ or Linkin Park’s ‘Papercut’. Tbh don’t stop, you slay it every time!
7. Trent from Daria
Just me? As if! Do not pretend that you were not hot for Jane’s rocker brother Trent on Daria. He was probably your first crush before you even knew what a crush was. For Trent fams, you are now deeply into makeup, you watch nonstop makeup tutorials on YouTube and TikTok and are always trying the latest bonkers trends.
Your hair is a different colour every second week, depending on your changing mood. You shop exclusively at Dangerfield or the odd op shop. You live on instant noodles (Indomie Mi Goreng ftw!) and consider Nando’s fine dining. In your downtime, you find yourself falling down conspiracy theory rabbit holes, with an encyclopaedic knowledge of every famous assassination or UFO sighting. It’s actually impressive!
8. Orlando Bloom
Legolas in Lord of the Rings was a sexual awakening for many of us. This role didn’t just launch Orlando’s career, but elves have never been hotter. Whether you fell for Legolas or Will Turner in Pirates of the Caribbean, Orlando was a ’00s dream. These days Orlando fans are just as nerdy as ever, you have very niche opinions on every Marvel movie and TV adaption, and don’t even get you started on how Game of Thrones ended!
You don’t talk to anyone from high school, but your uni/TAFE friends are like family. When you’re not scrolling your fave subs on Reddit, or gaming in your professional gamer chair, you’re cooking up a storm for your housemates as you feel inspired by TikTok food hacks. Step away from the pie maker!! Cereal doesn’t belong in there!
9. Gerard Way
For you, the Black Parade never ended, and Gerard Way is still the hottest human to ever inhabit the earth. And while My Chemical Romance only rarely release new music, that doesn’t mean you’re no longer a massive emo. You may no longer dye your hair black, or style your fringe to cover half your face, but you still dress almost entirely in black, while your makeup remains fixed in 2007 with thick eyeliner and a red lip. It looks flawless, it still works!
Some things have changed though. You no longer survive on a diet of late-night Macca’s nuggets or Easy Mac. In fact, you’ve become a bit of a health freak, making your own granola bars and poke bowls. You frequent the gym, you’re addicted to F45, but thankfully some things never change, as while you’re working out, in your AirPods you’re secretly blaring ‘Famous Last Words’.
10. Adam Brody
This perfect specimen would bring the term ‘adorkable’ into the mainstream with his nerdy Seth Cohen character in The O.C. When Brody-sters aren’t ranting to their besties about their latest argument with their siblings, they’re creating petty drama in the group chat. You are loud, you are messy, but you always have the best gossip and the tea on absolutely everyone.
You quit caffeine once a week, before drinking 10 cups in one day. You complain about how you can’t find a date, despite the fact you deleted all your dating apps in 2018. You’re obsessed with reality TV and celebrity gossip: in fact you have about 20 different paid subscriptions just to keep across everything, but luckily that’s not too expensive for you as your parents still pay your rent.