A Very Loving Tribute To All The Shit Tats From This Season Of ‘The Bachelorette’
Never before have we seen a Bachelorette season starring so many heavily tattooed men. Often, there’s one token ‘edgy’ bloke with a sleeve, but usually, we’re treated to a line-up of clean-cut, clean-shaven young men of the same build.
Not for Angie Kent’s season! Basically every bloke has a tattoo (or many), of varying degrees of quality.
We’re not trying to rip on the shit tats here though. In this very office, we have an array of shit tats: from a My Chemical Romance tat to the ultimate white-girl-on-vacation cliche, a sunrise. No judgment here!
Instead we’re celebrating these young men’s cringey tattoo choices. We’ll miss seeing them week-in, week-out. And as an added bonus, compiling all these memorable tat moments equals lots of shirtless pics. Happy finale day!
This is just a tribute to the shit tats of The Bachelorette:
Carlin
Even Carlin (handsome) has a tatt that says “Blessed” on his right arm.
Timm
The fan fave is basically covered in tattoos. From the sunflowers on his hands that we saw on the first night, to a woman with butterflies for eyes, to last week’s big reveal: a tattoo of his best mate’s mum’s name: 
And while we’ve seen his chest, arms and back when he and Angie took a bath, we almost missed the word tattoo under his left ear: “Perspective.”
And here’s a good look at the butterfly tat:
Ryan
Even the Aussie dog guy has a neck tattoo that may or may not be a woman’s name – Ricki??? – and a cursed face on his arm. But his best tat of all is across his stomach: “Roll with the punches.” Great advice, thanks Ryan!
He also has a sausage dog on his arm, which is the truly blessed tattoo here:
Alex
Alex, who managed to Bradbury it into the final six, has a selection of tats. He’s got them snaking up his arms and leg, and then the highlight across his side: “Brothers by blood, ____ by choice.”
Matt
Matt is also covered in tats, which are mostly weirdly cultural appropriation and also animals. And he unveiled it all for us as a nation in the first week, when Matt appeared as the shirtless merman to Timm’s lobster on the photo shoot date.
Have a look at them when they’re not covered in a blue sheen:
Ciarran
We asked Ciarran to tell us about the array of tattoos we spotted when he nuded up for the bachelorette art class group date.
On his right arm: “It’s a quote from one of the Greek Gods. I actually don’t even know what it says word for word [laughs]. How bad’s that? It’s something like, ‘The gods envy us because we are mortal, because each moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. You will never be more lovelier than you are now, because we’ll never be here again.'”
Then running down his side, is a quote in Latin that he lives his life by:
“I know that one [laughs]. That’s ‘Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero,’ which is, ‘Seize the day, and trust little in tomorrow.’ It’s literally take each day as it comes and keep the crap out of it… With the whole naked episode, that was me like, might as well go ahead and do it. I’m not gonna get this opportunity again, so why not?”
This is really just a bonus shot of the true winner of The Bachelorette:
Jamie
At this point, when even Fireman Jamie has one, we have to wonder if the Bachy men were told that sleeves are mandatory.
Haydn
Do we spy tattoos of stars on Haydn’s arms here? You can barely make them out on the show, but there they are, in black-and-Instagram.
Scot
We may never have known that Scot had tattoos – like “F.T.B.”, translation: for the boys – if he hadn’t gotten undressed at the comedy date.
“All my tattoos are on my legs. They’re all pretty whacked out,” Scot told us. “They’re almost like my little travelling board of memories. Every single one has its own meaning and its own story behind it.”
Jesse
Jesse the bodybuilder had a big cat tattoo we never got to see on TV. But we saw it here!
Kayde
Kayde, the man who firmly believed that he looks like Zac Efron, has a sleeve of his own, and something written on his collarbone. If you want to be on Bachy, you also need to have posted pics of yourself shirtless on Instagram. Them’s the rules!
Mitch
Mitch (whomst?) got dropped when he tried to give Angie an early season ultimatum. He appears to have the Australian coat-of-arms on his chest, amongst other things???
Warwick
Warwick, we hardly knew you. But what we did know is that you have a back tattoo of your own nickname.
Oliver
Oliver, kicked out on episode one after arriving with a case of beer, has a sleeve featuring a woman’s face in a lion’s mouth. What?
So ends our tribute to the shit tattoos of The Bachelorette. If we’ve learned anything from this, it’s that you can never think too much or too little about a tattoo. Just get an inspirational quote, or a dog. Who cares? It’s only permanent!