The Bachelorette bro-code

We Asked The Dumped ‘Bachelorette’ Blokes To Explain The Bro-Code To Us

There are many questions to be asked about the existence of a so-called ‘bro-code’ on The Bachelorette. What is it? Why does it exist? Doesn’t a ‘bro-code’ go against the very premise of this show: which is for 20-odd men to vie for the attention of one woman? If there’s no vying, there’s no television!

But the men of The Bachelorette this year really seemed to prioritise being respectful to each other in their shared pursuit of Angie. Because, hey, they had to live together every single day.

The existence of a ‘bro-code’ on The Bachelorette has been a source of tension since episode three, when the blokes established a system: they were gonna sit back and let Angie call the shots. But Jamie felt that he might be going home, so he ignored the new rules and pushed for cocktail party time with Angie.

Then on episode four, Timm broke what appeared to be another rule – that you don’t prioritise your time at the cocktail party with the Bachelorette when you already have a rose. And Ryan did it too on episode five. Each instance saw at least one of the blokes tell off the perpetrator, but it didn’t change anyone’s behaviour.

While it wasn’t called a ‘bro-code’ from that point onward, there were moments where the system reared its ugly head. In episode six, the blokes told Jamie to his face that they had told Angie’s dad to steer clear of him. That of course led to the drama of the next ep of The Bachelorette, with Jamie ready to blow the whole thing up.

Even after Jamie’s departure, the code remained a shadowy presence on The Bachelorette: was it a violation of the ‘bro-code’ to sell each other during that cocktail party dinner date?

The ‘bro-code’ seems so amorphous and strange, we asked the Bachelorette men to spell it out for us:


Adam

“I was a bit vocal about [other men’s behaviour], because I just felt like, ‘bro-code’, yes, but also just a bit of a level of respect as well, because there were some guys that genuinely did want time with her, but were a bit softer, a bit quieter. They just didn’t get an opportunity because those guys would just pounce on everything. They were having single dates.

“I think Ciarran said it best – he had a rose and he had single time and he wanted to respect his friends, which for the most part we all were. And we have to live together. But it was kinda like when cocktail parties started and everyone had a few drinks, that all went out the window.”

Alex 

“Leading up to that cocktail party, there was quite a bit of drama – us lads really butting in on each other’s time, and probably getting two or three minutes at a cocktail party to speak to her. So we made this ‘bro-code’ that we were gonna let Angie decide who she wants to speak to and how long she wants to speak to us for.

“We said, ‘Let’s really try to respect each other and respect Angie,’ because at the end of the day she wants to find someone who she can spend the rest of her life with, and not a couple of ratbags trying to get a minute or two in.”

Ciarran

“If you’ve got a rose and you’re safe at the cocktail party, let the other lads go and speak to Angie, who have had no time with her or who didn’t go on a date or didn’t go on a group date, because they could be sent home because she hasn’t got to know ’em. As you can see, some people just didn’t give a shit, even if they were safe. I was just like, well, obviously I want to chat to her every moment that’s possible. But I’m safe, so I’m not going to take that time away from someone else.

“The first night we were jumping in, chopping and changing the conversations, and then in my conversation with Angie, she was like, ‘I don’t actually get to finish conversations with anyone.’ So I came back: ‘She doesn’t want people jumping at the gun, coming in two minutes into a conversation. When she’s finished the conversation with that person, then she can move onto the next one.’ Everyone’s like, ‘Yeah, sweet,’ and then someone took it the wrong way and tried to spin the words for me. I was like, ‘That’s not what I said.'”

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Glenn

“If you’ve been on a group date or a single date, you would sit back a little bit and let the other guys who hadn’t had time with Angie get in there first.

“I was very much a part of that ‘bro-code’. Get everyone early on to have chats so everyone can establish a connection with Angie. There were guys who were very passionate about them and Angie – they sort of segregated themselves. I got involved with trying to tell boys to give everyone a go. When guys would overstep the mark, you’d pull ’em up.”

Haydn

“I just tried not to cut anyone else. If they’d just started to talk to Angie I wasn’t gonna go over and say, ‘Can I talk to her?’ I’d always try to give someone some time and then go ask if I could cut in.

“It wasn’t a ‘bro-code’. It was just Angie seemed overwhelmed the first night because we were all coming in and cutting each other’s grass and stuff. So we’re like, to make it easier on her, how about we decide that she gets to choose who she wants to come up and talk to. And it’ll be less stressful for her…”

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Matt

“I think that it’s good to have friends. I’m always gonna be mates with the boys. I’m used to travelling a lot with a bunch of guys, having fun, having laughs. That whole ‘bro-code’ thing was just us getting along. We had to live together… I don’t think it had an effect on our relationships with Angie. It was just people like Jamie and Ryan that weren’t really mates with everyone using it against us.

“I didn’t really follow the rules as such. I just stuck to being honest on and off camera, and to the boys, and not really hiding anything from anyone. If they were gonna tell me not to go talk to Angie, I’m not gonna listen. I was there for Angie. But I definitely was honest.”

Scot

“There isn’t a ‘bro-code’ as such. It’s just you’re living in the house together. There’s a lot of testosterone being thrown around, you’ve gotta have a lot of respect for each other…. You’re there for Angie, but you’ve gotta get on.

“There aren’t rules or anything like that at cocktail parties, but you do try to give each other enough time to have a quality conversation with Angie. It’s really hard to get time with Angie at those cocktail parties, there’s a lot going on, a lot of guys. Angie was pretty good as well, she’d tell guys to go away if she didn’t have enough of a chat.”

Tom

“I reckon just common respect really is ‘bro-code’. You don’t cut other people’s grass. You don’t interrupt within like a two-minute timeframe. You let other people have a go. Let everyone have a chat to her.

“I think it’s a bit unfair when someone’s gone [for a cocktail party pash]. If you didn’t know about it, you can’t really comment on it. If someone’s done it in front of you, I think that’s rude. You’re being disrespectful to everyone else.”

the bachelorette cocktail party episode 3